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Author Topic: Land Racing Quote Thread  (Read 126079 times)

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Offline fastesthonda_jim

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Re: Land Racing Quote Thread
« Reply #165 on: October 16, 2014, 12:32:43 PM »
Th..th..this is a gr..gre...great j...j...joke.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5aweaoakyK8

Should bring down the house if you can do it krecklie
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Offline Milwaukee Midget

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Re: Land Racing Quote Thread
« Reply #166 on: October 16, 2014, 12:39:34 PM »
Quote from: Seldom Seen Slim on October 16, 2014, 11:56:57 AM

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.     Kaiser Wilhelm


I had no idea that Augusta Victoria was a teetotaler . . .
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Offline Seldom Seen Slim

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Re: Land Racing Quote Thread
« Reply #167 on: October 16, 2014, 12:42:53 PM »
Jim, I enjoyed Mel Tillis back then - and now, too.  But the way the video ends leaves quite a bit of room for interpretation or ad libbing my own ending.  Yeah, the foot in the grave is a good lead to the punchline -- but I'll have to work on it for a while before I can use it.

Understand that I want to have good audience reaction for my "jokes".  There'll be three of us up there, one at a time, and the winner -- the one that gets the most applause -- winds a big pitcher of beer.  I want the girls that are with me to have that to enjoy - so I can enjoy driving them home. :evil: :evil:
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Offline fastesthonda_jim

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Re: Land Racing Quote Thread
« Reply #168 on: October 16, 2014, 01:49:29 PM »
Yeah, the end is a bit weak.  I first heard it on XM Radio on a comedy channel and it went a bit further, I thought, with Mel finishing it off.
Good Yuk with your presentation.
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Offline Glen

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Re: Land Racing Quote Thread
« Reply #169 on: October 16, 2014, 03:44:28 PM »
Sure tell that racing season and now into the silly season,  :-D
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Offline Seldom Seen Slim

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Re: Land Racing Quote Thread
« Reply #170 on: October 24, 2014, 08:30:09 AM »
This isn't quite a quotation, but it is kind of silly.  It's a song written by G.F. Handel, titled "Happy We".  Take a listen - especially to the words.  They're appropriate for a Friday morning with the approach of the weekend.

http://cs536514.vk.me/u4809288/audios/b791bf8f0d57.mp3?extra=EbHnsKwGKqnrAJRyoA9UeDqCt4h0LQU9Nm4msC0V6R-M2Aq26axzpOLA0wE27hMB-wE2AEnY5_ZiTaQ39E0NP_wW-W_6Put4?dl=1
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Offline Peter Jack

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Re: Land Racing Quote Thread
« Reply #171 on: October 24, 2014, 08:54:20 AM »
"Page Not Found" Slim. I'd hate to go back and try and find where the slip up is. (long, complicated url)

Pete
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Offline floydjer

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Re: Land Racing Quote Thread
« Reply #172 on: October 28, 2014, 09:12:59 AM »
" Always carry a flask of whiskey in case of snake bite..And furthermore..always carry a snake"   Claude William Dunkenfield
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Offline floydjer

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Re: Land Racing Quote Thread
« Reply #173 on: September 02, 2015, 08:51:19 AM »
My pharmacist asked for my birthdate again....I`ll bet she`s buying me a nice gift.....
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Offline floydjer

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Re: Land Racing Quote Thread
« Reply #174 on: October 09, 2015, 07:53:43 AM »
When ever I have a bad day , I just remember that some people are having babies..............
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Offline floydjer

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Re: Land Racing Quote Thread
« Reply #175 on: May 04, 2016, 10:00:48 AM »
duct tape can`t fix stupid...But it can muffle the sound............. :cheers:
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Offline fordboy628

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Re: Land Racing Quote Thread
« Reply #176 on: May 04, 2016, 04:19:30 PM »
"I can explain it to you . . . . .       BUT, I can't understand it for you."


 :cheers:
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Offline fordboy628

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Re: Land Racing Quote Thread
« Reply #177 on: May 04, 2016, 04:23:24 PM »
"I reserve and respect your right to remain stupid.    I also reserve my right to ignore each and every thing you say."

Unfortunately, I'm using this a lot lately . . . . . .

 :cheers:
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Science, NOT Magic . . . .

I used to be a people person.  But people changed that relationship.

"There is nothing permanent except change."    Heraclitus

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."     Albert Einstein

Offline fordboy628

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Re: Land Racing Quote Thread
« Reply #178 on: May 04, 2016, 04:39:44 PM »
And, finally:

"I'm not arguing with you.   I'm explaining why I'm right."

I don't use this one much anymore.



I prefer to use this:   "Go argue with my laptop."      Because it is a "disagreement ender."

I'm trying very hard to not "waste" my time and my oxygen, "arguing" with those who dismiss science as just theories, or a passing fad.

 :cheers:
JeezI'mturningintoMr.Wilsonboy
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Science, NOT Magic . . . .

I used to be a people person.  But people changed that relationship.

"There is nothing permanent except change."    Heraclitus

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."     Albert Einstein

Offline floydjer

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Re: Land Racing Quote Thread
« Reply #179 on: May 12, 2016, 09:29:48 AM »
Stupid people are like glow sticks....They make me want to snap them in the middle and shake the sh*t out of them  `til the light comes on.........
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