Tomorrow night the Lowe's Hoes (as the girls call themselves) and I are going to a comedy club. We know this place always starts out with an open mike session, so I've got a few that I've culled from here that I'll try on that audience. if you've got one that's really great -- needs to be a story-type joke, not a one liner, please -- post it here even though it's not necessarily a quotation.
Oh, yeah -- speaking of quotations. . . The other day I engraved about 200 Mason jar-type been glasses for a local pub/bowling alley. Each of the glasses had one (of four) quotes on it.
Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. Kaiser Wilhelm
There's no such thing as a bad beer. It's that some taste better than others. Billy Carter
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your moth shut. Ernest Hemingway
I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth they can be depended upon to meet and national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts, and beer. Abraham Lincoln
I can't find them in my photo file, but you can see a sample on the Kudos Laser Facebook page:
https://www.facebook.com/kudoslaser