1. A guy visited a store seeking some fancy soap. The clerk asked if he wanted it scented. “No,” replied the guy, “I’ll just take it with me.”
From Johnny Carson:
2. A real estate salesman spent all day Sunday escorting a couple through model homes.
“And this,” he said at the tenth home he had shown, “has a hobby room. Do you folks have any hobbies?”
“Yes,” replied the woman, “inspecting model homes on Sundays.”
3. Adam may have had his troubles, but he never had to listen to Eve talk about the other men she could have married.
4. “It’s your wife,” said the secretary to her boss. “She wants to give you a kiss over the telephone.”
“I’m too busy,” replied the executive. “Take the message and I’ll get it from you later.”
5. A Hollywood producer received a story entitled “The Optimist.” He called his staff together and said: “Gentlemen, this story is great, but the title must be changed to something simple.
We’re intelligent and know what an optimist is, but how many of those morons who’ll see the picture will know he’s an eye doctor?”