1. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
3. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
4. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
5. When the chips are down the buffalo is empty.
6. Seen it all, done it all. Can't remember most of it.
7. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
8. She's always late. In fact, her ancestors arrived on the "Juneflower."
9. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.
10. Despite the cost of living, it still remains popular.
11. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool. [Can't make it idiot-proof - the idiots are too damn devious!, Mark Twain]
12. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them. [Ref #11]
13. You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
14. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
15. The things that come to those that wait, are probably things left by those who got there first. [The second mouse gets the cheese?]
16. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking.
17. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture.
18. It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
19. Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.
20. You start out with nothing, and many still have most of it.