1. There are three kinds of people in this world. Those who can count and those who can’t.
2. It was so cold last week…that I saw several suppliers with their hands in their own pockets.
3. If you take away the looks, money, intelligence, charm, and success…there is really no difference between me and George Clooney.
4. One day the boss says you are the best thing since sliced bread. The next day you are toast. [204 Engineers laid off at local GE yesterday!
]
5. I noticed a new trend in the office lately. Everyone is putting their names on their food. No really…I saw it while I was eating a sandwich named Bruce.
Bonus: I told my doctor about my loss of memory and he made me pay in advance.