Author Topic: Stupid joke FRIDAY  (Read 2173236 times)

0 Members and 8 Guests are viewing this topic.

Offline Speed Limit 1000

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1398
Re: Stupid joke FRIDAY
« Reply #5070 on: May 19, 2023, 02:48:03 PM »
What do parents give their baby if they want them to become a future race car driver...

Formula One
John Gowetski, red hat @ 221.183 MPH MSA Lakester, Bockscar #1000 60 ci normally aspirated w/N20

Offline floydjer

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4251
  • "There is no duck side of the moon..."
Re: Stupid joke FRIDAY
« Reply #5071 on: May 19, 2023, 04:03:41 PM »
Know the difference between a baby and a cup of coffee??...Coffee won't keep you up all night.....Or so I have heard, We have no children.😁
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Speed Limit 1000

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1398
Re: Stupid joke FRIDAY
« Reply #5072 on: May 19, 2023, 08:42:12 PM »
So your wife only has one child to care for :friday
John Gowetski, red hat @ 221.183 MPH MSA Lakester, Bockscar #1000 60 ci normally aspirated w/N20

Offline floydjer

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4251
  • "There is no duck side of the moon..."
Re: Stupid joke FRIDAY
« Reply #5073 on: May 26, 2023, 02:42:33 PM »
Bought a new Ninja lawn mower....It's a grassassin.....
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4251
  • "There is no duck side of the moon..."
Re: Stupid joke FRIDAY
« Reply #5074 on: June 02, 2023, 11:36:35 AM »
93 year old Albert goes in for his annual inspection....During pre- exam small talk he tells the Doc. that he married a 22 year old cosmetologist and plans to start a family...Dr. suggests that if he has the spare room? Might be a good idea to take in a border. 3 months later, Al  and the Doc. cross paths and the Dr. asks how the plan is working out...Al says "Great..the bride is pregnant"! Doc says " So my suggestion of a border worked"? And Al says...."She is pregnant too"! 1drink
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline WOODY@DDLLC

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1807
  • ECTA made it to AR-Kansas!
    • Design Dreams, LLC
Re: Stupid joke FRIDAY
« Reply #5075 on: June 02, 2023, 12:55:44 PM »
Al was sitting on a park bench, crying his eyes out!
A stranger stopped and asked him what was the problem?
Al said, "I'm 93 and living with two hot young babes!"
Stranger said, How's that a problem?"
Al said, "I forgot where I live!"  :cry:
All models are wrong, but some are useful! G.E. Box (1967) www.designdreams.biz

Offline Speed Limit 1000

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1398
Re: Stupid joke FRIDAY
« Reply #5076 on: June 02, 2023, 03:50:49 PM »
A week after John bought a bull, he complained to his friend, "All that bull does is eat grass. Won't even look at a cow." "Take him to the vet," his friend suggested. The next week, John is much happier. "The vet gave him some pills, and the bull serviced all of my cows!" he told his pal. "Then he broke through the fence and bred with all my neighbor's cows! He's like a machine!" "What kind of pills were they?"asked the friend. "I don't know, but they've got a peppermint taste."
« Last Edit: June 02, 2023, 03:53:49 PM by Speed Limit 1000 »
John Gowetski, red hat @ 221.183 MPH MSA Lakester, Bockscar #1000 60 ci normally aspirated w/N20

Offline Speed Limit 1000

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1398
Re: Stupid joke FRIDAY
« Reply #5077 on: June 09, 2023, 03:15:23 PM »
What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast...
 
Synonym toast crunch :ear
John Gowetski, red hat @ 221.183 MPH MSA Lakester, Bockscar #1000 60 ci normally aspirated w/N20

Offline floydjer

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4251
  • "There is no duck side of the moon..."
Re: Stupid joke FRIDAY
« Reply #5078 on: June 09, 2023, 05:18:48 PM »
Oh yeah?...I ate a dictionary once...Had thesaurus throat imaginable....
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4251
  • "There is no duck side of the moon..."
Re: Stupid joke FRIDAY
« Reply #5079 on: June 09, 2023, 05:20:18 PM »
Stayed up late last night memorizing 6 pages of the dictionary....I remember next to nothing. 1drink
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Speed Limit 1000

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1398
Re: Stupid joke FRIDAY
« Reply #5080 on: June 09, 2023, 05:45:33 PM »
 What's the difference between a literalist and a kleptomaniac?

A literalist takes things literally...

A kleptomaniac takes things, literally...
« Last Edit: June 09, 2023, 05:47:07 PM by Speed Limit 1000 »
John Gowetski, red hat @ 221.183 MPH MSA Lakester, Bockscar #1000 60 ci normally aspirated w/N20

Offline Speed Limit 1000

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1398
Re: Stupid joke FRIDAY
« Reply #5081 on: June 16, 2023, 02:06:36 AM »
Arguing with my wife is like reading a software license agreement...
 
In the end, I ignore it all and click "I agree"
John Gowetski, red hat @ 221.183 MPH MSA Lakester, Bockscar #1000 60 ci normally aspirated w/N20

Offline USFRAMONTE

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 692
Re: Stupid joke FRIDAY
« Reply #5082 on: June 16, 2023, 10:06:53 AM »
I tried making a joke during a Zoom meeting last week.

They all said I wasn't even remotely funny.

Offline floydjer

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4251
  • "There is no duck side of the moon..."
Re: Stupid joke FRIDAY
« Reply #5083 on: June 16, 2023, 04:05:05 PM »
I never question Patti's choices.....I was one of them.
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline WOODY@DDLLC

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1807
  • ECTA made it to AR-Kansas!
    • Design Dreams, LLC
Re: Stupid joke FRIDAY
« Reply #5084 on: June 16, 2023, 05:21:37 PM »
Names changed to protect the delirious!  :-P

Jer: Why did you marry me Patti?
Patti: Because you are funny!
Jer: I thought it was because I was good in bed!
Patti: You see! You're hilarious!
All models are wrong, but some are useful! G.E. Box (1967) www.designdreams.biz