Stupid joke FRIDAY

[fastesthonda_jim]

And it goes without saying that if you are considering a life of crime, you are, by definition, not smart enough to pursue a life of crime.
But... but... if you are pursuing a life of Land Speed Racing, does the same logic apply?
Help me out here before I get too much older.

[fastesthonda_jim]

As proof of my previous post, I offer this video.
I'm told that basically the potential car jackee modified his horn button to activate a certain sound.
N-joy!

https://files.catbox.moe/fqwcsr.mp4

[floydjer]

Which type of key cannot be used to open a lock...? The tur-key

[floydjer]

Why did the nurse carry a red pen??...To draw blood.....

[floydjer]

....Got an e-mail today that said you can go to Google Earth and read maps backwards.......I think that is spam......

[manta22]

On accordion...

[floydjer]

Never shop for bedroom furniture when you have been drinking......It leads to one night stand.....

[floydjer]

What do you call a boat full of dentists??🤔.....The Tooth Ferry......

[Stainless1]

I was going to sign up for a 401K at work, but then I decided I was too old to run that far.
 

[floydjer]

Our mailman is a terrible joke teller.....I think he needs to work on his delivery.....

[floydjer]

Handy holiday tip for the grandfathers. Wrap empty boxes and place them near the Christmas tree. When a grand child acts up...Toss one in the fireplace......

[floydjer]

.......🤔...I am not sure of what you do after you run out of grand kids....

[WOODY@DDLLC]

Burn the empty boxes?

[floydjer]

In honor of the current weather......A farmer left his sheep outside during a blizzard....He had to take them to an Icy Ewe ward....

[floydjer]

When I were a little fellow, dad was driving me to a Pink Floyd concert during a blizzard. He stopped the car, got out, and placed a pair of snakes on the cowl of his 1961 Studebaker Hawk. I questioned the value of his actions and dad said.."What??? You have never heard of wind chilled vipers??"