Author Topic: Stupid joke FRIDAY  (Read 2173154 times)

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Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke FRIDAY
« Reply #4860 on: April 08, 2022, 05:04:59 PM »
Sorry I am late today....Had a little accident...I bumped into a car at a stop light.....3' tall guy got out, stomped back and jump on the running board of my 'Burb and yelled "I am not happy"...So I flicked some cigar ash on his head and asked " So which one are you...Grumpy"?
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke FRIDAY
« Reply #4861 on: April 08, 2022, 05:08:59 PM »
The seven dwarfs could never share a name.....Might create a pair o' Docs...
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke FRIDAY
« Reply #4862 on: April 08, 2022, 05:11:49 PM »
Know how the Big Bad Wolf gets high???  He huffs and he puffs... :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke FRIDAY
« Reply #4863 on: April 15, 2022, 07:42:24 AM »
I found $20 on the sidewalk yesterday...As I reached down to pick it up a homeless guy walked up and asked if I could spare some cash as he had not eaten since Monday. I knew the money would just go towards alcohol  or drugs...So I gave it to the homeless guy instead.😇
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline fastesthonda_jim

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Re: Stupid joke FRIDAY
« Reply #4864 on: April 15, 2022, 09:14:37 AM »
Next time you see him, Jerry, do him a favor.  Give him counterfeit money.  Might get him a  nice warm jail cell.

#2 And be especially careful of your route choice when you're on your way to the Coinstar with your piggy bank savings.  I mean , "Spare change?" is not what you want to hear right then.
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Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke FRIDAY
« Reply #4865 on: April 15, 2022, 02:40:59 PM »
As luck would have it...I saw the same homeless guy today! He was wearing one shoe , so I asked if he lost one...He said " No...I found one "
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke FRIDAY
« Reply #4866 on: April 15, 2022, 02:42:43 PM »
......He was walking along with  a shopping cart full of horse shoes and rabbit's feet.....Talk about pushing your luck.... :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Stainless1

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Re: Stupid joke FRIDAY
« Reply #4867 on: April 15, 2022, 09:25:01 PM »
He Jerry, my neighbor adopted a homeless horse... it was unstable
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Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke FRIDAY
« Reply #4868 on: April 15, 2022, 09:58:21 PM »
No kidding Bob??...How much does it whey???
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Stainless1

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Re: Stupid joke FRIDAY
« Reply #4869 on: April 15, 2022, 11:21:40 PM »
Whinny figures that out my neigh will let you no!   :deal  aktion086
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Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke FRIDAY
« Reply #4870 on: April 22, 2022, 01:39:34 AM »
So I stopped at Burger King today...very long line at the drive thru.....young girl behind me started blowing the car horn and yelling for me to hurry up and order. I guess she was pressed for time, and stressed out so I paid for her order too. The gal taking orders must have told the young lass what I had done because she waved , smiled and blew me a kiss!! Then I drove to the second window, showed both receipts and took her food along with my own...which meant she had to go around to the end of the line and start over.😁. DO NOT blow your horn at me. :cheers: :cheers: :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke FRIDAY
« Reply #4871 on: April 29, 2022, 09:46:25 AM »
🤔....Riding in the car with my dad one day and as we passed a cemetery he turned to me and using his most somber tone told me that there are people living in our town that cannot be buried there. Being full of youthful innocence I asked why that was...Dad replied.." Because they are still alive"
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke FRIDAY
« Reply #4872 on: May 06, 2022, 01:28:36 PM »
Went to a new spot last night for dinner.....Place is named "Karma"..... No menu,...You get what you deserve. :clap
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke FRIDAY
« Reply #4873 on: May 06, 2022, 01:29:21 PM »
Ooops, forgot :cheers: :cheers: 1drink :friday
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Speed Limit 1000

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Re: Stupid joke FRIDAY
« Reply #4874 on: May 06, 2022, 07:38:21 PM »
Karma's just sharpening her fingernails and finishing her drink. She says she'll be back with you shortly
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