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Author Topic: Stupid joke FRIDAY  (Read 2169547 times)

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Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke FRIDAY
« Reply #4770 on: December 03, 2021, 12:47:44 PM »
Pete....The earth is not flat....If it were, a cat would have knocked everything off the edge by now....
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Offline fastesthonda_jim

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Re: Stupid joke FRIDAY
« Reply #4771 on: December 10, 2021, 10:23:15 AM »
(Stolen from another venue - somebody's gotta start this thing)

Today's Work From Home Tip:

Blowing on the wine in your coffee mug will help convince the Zoom meeting that your tea is hot. 
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Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke FRIDAY
« Reply #4772 on: December 10, 2021, 05:22:27 PM »
I know a doctor named Juan who specializes in tattoo removal...For the past 20 years he has also been robbing banks and has not been caught.....No one ever expects the Spanish ink physician...
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Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke FRIDAY
« Reply #4773 on: December 17, 2021, 06:31:23 AM »
I bought a condensed thesaurus and it is terrible..not only that, It is terrible too....
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Offline Stainless1

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Re: Stupid joke FRIDAY
« Reply #4774 on: December 17, 2021, 11:18:17 AM »
But is it tearable...
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Offline USFRAMONTE

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Re: Stupid joke FRIDAY
« Reply #4775 on: December 17, 2021, 12:15:14 PM »
Mrs. Claus asks Santa to look out the window and see if it is snowing.
So Santa looks out, turns back to her and says, "Nope, it is just rein deer".
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Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke FRIDAY
« Reply #4776 on: December 17, 2021, 04:14:56 PM »
So that is how you want to play????🤔...Why does Santa come down the chimney?? Because it soots him well.....( knew that would sleigh you)
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Offline tortoise

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Re: Stupid joke FRIDAY
« Reply #4777 on: December 17, 2021, 08:11:26 PM »
Quote from: USFRAMONTE on December 17, 2021, 12:15:14 PM
Mrs. Claus asks Santa to look out the window and see if it is snowing.
So Santa looks out, turns back to her and says, "Nope, it is just rein deer".
The way I heard it, it was Comrade Rudolph saying it's raining. His wife asks if maybe it's actually snow, and he replies "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear".
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Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke FRIDAY
« Reply #4778 on: December 17, 2021, 08:48:22 PM »
Hey Bob.....I replaced my old thesaurus with a new one...All of the pages are blank. I have no words to express my anger....
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Offline Stainless1

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Re: Stupid joke FRIDAY
« Reply #4779 on: December 17, 2021, 09:55:46 PM »
Well Jerry I guess you need Bobby McFerrin's advice.... Don't worry... be happy
you won't need to express your exasperation... or choke the living shit outta someone that needs it...
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Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke FRIDAY
« Reply #4780 on: December 24, 2021, 08:55:28 AM »
How much did Santa's sleigh cost?.....Nothing...It is on the house....
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Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke FRIDAY
« Reply #4781 on: December 24, 2021, 08:58:20 AM »
Santa's least favorite reindeer?....Rude-olph......
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Offline WOODY@DDLLC

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Re: Stupid joke FRIDAY
« Reply #4782 on: December 24, 2021, 09:40:35 AM »
Santa says, "HO! HO! HO! " until he gets to my house then it's, "HA! HA! HA! "  :? :?
Everyone have a Merry Christmas and a Happier New Year!  :cheers: :cheers:
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Offline fastesthonda_jim

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Re: Stupid joke FRIDAY
« Reply #4783 on: December 24, 2021, 10:16:40 AM »
Pet question for the sages that inhabit (inhibit?) this Dear Abby wannabee -

At what age is it appropriate to tell my dog he's adopted?
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Offline fastesthonda_jim

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Re: Stupid joke FRIDAY
« Reply #4784 on: December 24, 2021, 10:21:48 AM »
I saw a girl crying, so, being a compassionate Land Speed Racer, I asked her "Where are your parents?" and she started crying even more.
Man, I love working at the orphanage.
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2006 SCTA High Points Champeen
2006 Dirty "2" Wrench Of The Year
Bonneville "2" Club 2003
El Mirage Dirty "2"'s 2006
Bonneville Records: G/GS, F/GS (Boy)  G/FS (Girl)
El Mirage Records: F/BFS, F/FS, F/GS, I/FS, I/GS, K/BGS
FIA Records A, II, 8
Unlimited License
300mph line qualified (305.129 best mile speed)
The older half of San Diego's Fastest Couple
2016 Man of Distinction Award
DLRA 2019 Top Speed of The Meet (309.438 Mile - 323.3 GPS)
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