Stupid joke FRIDAY

[floydjer]

" Harold the Barrel...Cut off his toes and served them up for tea...won`t get far..( ` asn`t got a leg to stand on)     Little Genesis for the occasion.

[rouse]

This afternoon my wife ask me to make her feel like a REAL woman, so I pulled off my shirt and pants ,through them on the floor and said wash that!

Rouse

[floydjer]

Hey Bob....How`s this???

[Milwaukee Midget]

Jerry?  Jerry?  Jerry!

It's almost 9:00 AM!  Put down that damned snowshovel, get in the house and say something stupid!

 

[Dean Los Angeles]

I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment about their mustache and suddenly she's not your friend anymore.

[rouse]

Forgot my glasses
Yesterday my daughter again asked why I didn't do something useful with my time. Talking about my "doing something useful" seemed to be her favorite topic of conversation. She was "only thinking of me" and suggested I go down to the senior center and hang out with the guys. I did this and when I got home last night I decided to teach her a lesson about staying out of my business. I told her that I had joined a parachute club.
She said, "Are you nuts? You 're almost 79 years old and you're going to start jumping out of airplanes?" I proudly showed her that I even got a membership card.
She said to me, "Good grief, where are your glasses!
This is a membership to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club."
"I'm in trouble again, and I don't know what to do... I signed up for five jumps a week." I told her. She fainted.
Life as a senior citizen is not getting any easier but sometimes it can be fun.

Rouse

[tauruck]

Jerry,
You make me laugh!  I tried to think of a clever come back but.....nothing.

Although, I got thinking about the defense that Oscar Pistrious is claiming....
I'm not buying it.
I don't think he has a leg to stand on!

You got that right. The guy's a fool.

[Stainless1]

Yes I know it isn't Friday, but this is an emergency
I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles.
My next Sh_t could spell disaster.

[SaltRat]

Sounds like the lady that backed up into an airplane propeller.


Disaster.

[Stan Back]

Stainless,

Sounds like you may be uncomfortable for a spell.

Sorry,
Stan

[Captthundarr]

OOooooo, not again...... Back on track fella's

[Stan Back]

Right!

Let alone you could leave a track in your shorts, you could spell it, too.

[Stainless1]

Well it was not as bad as I thought.... the first 2 tiles came out OK

[Stan Back]

Well, use your fingers and see if you can play OKLAHOMA!

[Freud]

I'm concerned about smelling not spelling.

FREUD