Stupid joke FRIDAY

[Milwaukee Midget]

What is Forrest Gump`s e-mail password     1forrest1

Please, Jerry -

 

[floydjer]

Hey Chris....................A  friend of mine died after drinking a gallon of varnish....Terrible ending , But a nice finish

[Captthundarr]

OOooo my head.....

[floydjer]

Why do penguins walk softly?....Because they can`t walk, hardly

[USFRAMONTE]

A resturant in Niagara Falls is offering a new item on their menu.
Honeymoon Salad.....
Lettuce alone with no dressing!

[SaltRat]

This will have to he the Cook Shootout Official Joke:

Inspired by a comment from Glen "Ray a slice of water melon works as well " about the fly problem.

It seems there were two old girls sitting on the riverbank eating watermelon one day.  On of the girls says "you know, I'm going to slip my panties off to see if it keeps me cool!"

After a while her friend asks: "Does slipping your panties off keep you cooler?"

Well, not.  But it DOES keep the flies off the watermelon!"

[Glen]

Salt rat, that's where the line came from, I remember that story from many years ago with a red neck I worked with. And yes it does work.

[Dean Los Angeles]

A woman asks her husband at breakfast time, "Would you like some bacon and eggs, a slice of toast, and maybe some grapefruit juice and coffee?"

He declines. "Thanks for asking, but, I'm not hungry right now. "It's this Viagra," he says. "It's really taken the edge off my appetite."

At lunchtime, she asks him if he'd like something. "How about a bowl of soup, homemade muffins, or a cheese sandwich?"

He declines. "The Viagra," he says, "really trashes my desire for food."

Come dinner time, she asks if he wants anything to eat. "Would you like a juicy rib eye steak and some scrumptious apple pie? Or maybe a rotisserie chicken or tasty stir fry?"

He declines again. "No," he says, "it's got to be the Viagra. I'm still not hungry."

"Well," she says, "Get off me. I'm starving."

[Milwaukee Midget]

Thought I'd put it here - that way you'll see it. 

Chris

[floydjer]

Thank you MM. My anniversary  (20 years) as well.

[floydjer]

Hear about that new movie called " Constipation"?  ...No ?...It hasn`t come out yet.

[doug odom]

I hear they found Jimmy Hoffa. He was in the yellow pages under concrete.

[floydjer]

Hey Doug ( even if it is saturday)....Jimmy Hoffa has been found...He`s working at a hospital , In the maternity ward................... He organizes labor pains

[floydjer]

Where does a bee sit ??....On his bee-hind

[doug odom]

I took our new puppy with me to the market. She was laying down in the back seat. I pulled into a parking space and rolled the windows down a little. I got out and told her to STAY. As I walked away I turned around and said STAY again.  The lady in a car nearby looked at me and said " Why don't you just put it in park?"