I got the words "jacuzzi" and "yakuza" confused.
Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese mafia.
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When chickens get sick, what kind of soup do they eat?
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When I was a little boy, I used to be afraid of the dark...
Now as an adult, I see the electric bill and I'm afraid of the light!
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I was going to make pancakes, then I wasn?t, then I was, then I wasn?t.
Now it looks like I?m just waffling
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A lady on a commuter train is reading a newspaper article about life and death statistics. Fascinated, she turns to the man next to her and asks, ?Did you know that every time I breathe somebody dies??
?Really?? he says. ?Have you tried a good mouthwash??
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Did you know that the word 'nothing' is a palindrome?
Backwards it spells 'gnihton', which also means nothing.
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So, these murder hornets.
Do you have to send them a list of names or what?
How does that work?
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I?m gonna hang a Batman outfit in my closet just to mess with myself when I get Alzheimers.
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Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.
