Is my understanding that more teeth give better resolution but there are limitations of tooth width (not the disc thickness which seems to be in the 1/8th" most that I have seen though the one I use is closer to 1/4". The exact design may be determined by the pickup, whether Hall sensor or an inductive one. The depth of the teeth and separation is important which is why I felt that the 4.5" wheel might be a problem for 36 teeth. The larger one you then suggested should be fine. Usually teeth are about 1/4"-5/16" wide. Since you plan to have it made, scope out where and how you will mount the sensor. Generally 1mm spacing wheel to sensor is the norm. (approximately). That will give you diameter. In my system the wheel is solidly mounted as well as the sensor and the software determines from an input the TDC/advance. Some trigger wheels need to be slotted or the sensor mount slotted for adjustment to set the base.
My sense is that the 36-1 is a very popular size used by many systems- Motec for instance -and should work well. The diameter, as long as not too small is not critical and you can adjust for your engine and sensor location.
Sorry to hear about your consultants. Though I well know the frustration of wanting to move ahead and make parts so you are ready to go, this one may reasonably be put aside until they can give you first hand advice. Babies, of course, come when they want to, not when we do.