".....oh hello Officer, yes I am aware it is 3 am, no I did not expect to see you here either, yes the lighting on my Bonneville Lakester is indeed off my wifes bicycle, no I do not have road tax or an MOT, yes I was aware the speed limit on the M1 motorway is 70mph, yes I have a GPS speedo that was reading 150 mph so your equipment is quite accurate. No, I dont see a problem with this conversation. What do you mean, you have never heard of Bonneville?"
Yet another wonderful description - and one that many of us have played through our own noggins. Best of all, though, is your stinger:
"Why are you reaching for your handcuffs, I am not that sort of guy."
Delightful.