Well, speaking of condoms . . .
A man from Pennsylvania is coming back from his first trip to Bonneville. He stops in Iowa City, Iowa to get gas, and decides to check out the farmers market downtown.
He comes across a farmer selling sweet corn (in season, of course), and inquires with the grower about his produce.
"Best in the Midwest", said the confident farmer, obviously proud of his product. "Here, try an ear", he said, and shucked it raw, right there in front of him.
The wary Pennsylvanian said, "What, raw sweet corn?"
"Picked just hours ago - you'll never taste anything better".
Sure enough, the raw sweet corn tasted heavenly. "I've got to take some of this home", said the Pennsylvanian to the farmer. "How many ears do you have?", he asked.
"I've got twelve dozen left", said the farmer. He continued, "If I can get all of this sold before two o'clock, I can still get down to St. Louis in time for the Cardinals game against the Cubs. Why don't you make me an offer?"
The two haggled over price for a few minutes, and finally agreed upon $3.00 a dozen for the whole lot.
The Pennsylvanian handed the farmer $36.00, and the farmer, noticing the customer's license plates, helped him load the corn into his car. But before they parted company, the farmer added, "You're going to want to shuck that corn and wrap it, or it won't keep until you get home".
The Pennsylvanian asked, "What method would you recommend?"
"Get yourself some unlubricated condoms, shuck the corn, put the ear in the condom, and tie it off. It'll keep for weeks that way", said the farmer.
The Pennsylvanian and the farmer parted company, the farmer heading to St. Louis to see the Red Birds clobber the Cubs, and the Pennsylvanian driving on to Davenport, where he was planning on spending the night. Before he got to his hotel, he stopped at the Walgreen's, and went back to talk to the Pharmacist.
"I need a gross of unlubricated condoms, sir!", said the Pennsylvanian.
Somewhat surprised by the request, the Pharmacist was nevertheless able to fill the order, and the Pennsylvanian left just as the store was closing.
He immediately went to his room at the Red Roof Inn, and started shucking corn, carefully wrapping each ear as the farmer had described.
But when he came to the last ear, he realized that the Pharmacist had shorted him one condom! He recounted the ears, and sure enough, 144 ears, 143 condoms.
The next morning, the Pennsylvanian went back to the Walgreen's, approached the Pharmacist and said, in a not-too-polite tone, "I came in last night to buy twelve dozen condoms, and you only gave me 143!"
The Pharmacist, embarrassed by his oversight, said, "Sir, I'm so sorry I ruined your stay in Davenport!"