Before this thread gets pirated . . .
A pirate captain quietly walked onto the deck of his ship with the ship's helm wheel swedged to his crotch.
The first mate called for a course correction - "Three degrees starboard!"
The helmsman, who was always an annoyance and usually drunk, didn't quite notice the captain when he went to make the course correction.
"Arrrr!", yelled the captain, "Steady as she goes, helmsman! You're drivin' me nuts!"