Okay, ladies and gentlemen, here's one for the ages. My mom used to tell this joke. She's the only person I ever heard with it, no doubt because it's so long and complicated. It needs to be read out loud -- that is, SPEAK IT, don't just read it and mumble along. Okay -- here, in memory of my mom, dead some ten years now, is the story of Archibald S. Holebroke.
"Once upon a time there was a school that needed a new second grade teacher, so they hired Caroline Woodrick. Miss Woodrick introduced herself to the students and then asked them to introduce themselves. The first little boy said: "My name is Abner Baker, spelled A-b-n-e-r B-a-k-e-r."
"Fine", said Caroline, "but I would like each student to learn to syllabalize progressively. Here is how your name, Abner, should sound: A-b gets your Ab, n-e-r gets your ner, gets your Abner. B-a-k gets your bake, gets your nerbake, gets your Abner Bake. E-r gets your er, gets your Baker, gets you nerBaker, gets your Abner Baker."
And so Miss Woodrick led the entire class through syllabalizing progressively until she came to Archie, who didn't want to do it because his name was so long.
"Oh, come now", said Miss Woodrick. "I'll help you." And this is how Archibald S. Holebroke's name sounded:
(NOTE: Pronounce the "I" in Archie's name with a long sound -- that is, "Eye", not "ih". You'll see why later).
"A-r-c-h gets your Arch. I gets your I, gets your Archi. B-a-l-d gets your bald, gets your ibald, gets your Archibald. S gets your S, gets your bald S, gets your ibald S, gets your Archibald S. H-o-l-e gets your Hole, gets your S. Hole, gets your bald S. Hole, gets your ibald S. hole, gets your Archibald S. Hole. B-r-o-k-e gets your broke, gets your Holebroke, gets your S. Holebroke, gets your ibald S. Holebroke, gets your Archibald S. Holebroke."
End of story.
And - for what it's worth, Caroline Woodrick was a school teacher associate of my mom. I doubt that Miss Woodrick really did syllabalize progressively, but let's give Mom the benefit of the doubt and allow her to personalize the joke.
Over and out.