Land Racing Quote Thread

[floydjer]

You can learn alot about a woman`s mood by looking at her hands...If she`s holding a gun?/ She`s probably mad about something....

[floydjer]

I have no idea how I posted that in two threads at once.................

[floydjer]

But...I`ve decided not to plan my days in advance ......." Premeditated' gets used in court too often as it is..................................

[4-barrel Mike]

I have no idea how I posted that in two threads at once.................

The second one was 7 minutes 3 seconds after the one above.  Do you remember what you had for breakfast? 

Mike

[Stainless1]

Coffee and a joint?     

[Milwaukee Midget]

On being a pro . . .

The longer you take to make the decision, the longer it will take to implement.

Conversely, backtracking on a bad decision also wastes time.

In the end, you are either proactive or you procrastinate.

So even if you act like a pro, the paint will STILL be wet when you put the car on the trailer.

[floydjer]

No one has ever called from  Las Vegas just to say " Hi "

[aircooledtechguy]

You may not get what you pay for, but you always pay for what you get.

Why worry about death; it'll come sooner or later.

Aerodynamics are for people who can’t build engines. – Enzo Ferrari

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. – Henry Ford

The crashes people remember, but drivers remember the near misses. – Mario Andretti

[grumm441]

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I still stand behind my previous statement
G

[floydjer]

Always give the toughest job to the laziest employee...He`ll find a better way to do it quicker.

[Stainless1]

Thanks Jerry, for demonstrating where to post what...
I thought the Friday thread had taken a bad turn, then you got it back on track.... and then you posted a non-Friday type post where it goes....

Posted Previously by me, but worthy of this thread....
When I drink, everybody buys 

[floydjer]

famous last words....." You don`t have the b*lls to pull that trigger"

[floydjer]

You know....when i was a kid, You could walk down to the corner store..get a couple cans of coke, a candy bar or two and a comic book and still have money in your pocket. Can`t do that today...Too f`n many security cameras....................

[tauruck]

 
Jerry!!!!

[Seldom Seen Slim]

Tomorrow night the Lowe's Hoes (as the girls call themselves) and I are going to a comedy club.  We know this place always starts out with an open mike session, so I've got a few that I've culled from here that I'll try on that audience.  if you've got one that's really great -- needs to be a story-type joke, not a one liner, please -- post it here even though it's not necessarily a quotation.

Oh, yeah -- speaking of quotations. . .  The other day I engraved about 200 Mason jar-type been glasses for a local pub/bowling alley.  Each of the glasses had one (of four) quotes on it.

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.     Kaiser Wilhelm

There's no such thing as a bad beer.  It's that some taste better than others.      Billy Carter

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk.  That will teach you to keep your moth shut.      Ernest Hemingway

I am a firm believer in the people.  If given the truth they can be depended upon to meet and national crisis.  The great point is to bring them the real facts, and beer.      Abraham Lincoln

I can't find them in my photo file, but you can see a sample on the Kudos Laser Facebook page:

https://www.facebook.com/kudoslaser