Lovers' Lane

[Stan Back]

A cop was patrolling late at night in a well-known necking spot when he sees a couple in a car, with the interior  light brightly glowing.

Approaching the car to get a closer look, he sees a young man behind the wheel, reading a computer magazine and a young woman in the rear seat . . . knitting.

Puzzled by this surprising situation, the cop walks to the car and gently raps on the driver's window.

The young man lowers his window. "Uh, yes, officer?" 

The cop says: "What are you doing?"

The young  man says: "Well Officer, I'm reading a   magazine." 

Pointing towards the young woman in the back seat the cop  says:  "And her, what is she doing?"

The young man shrugs:  "Sir, I believe she's knitting a pullover sweater."

Now, the cop is totally confused.  A young couple, alone, in a car, at night in  'Lover's Lane' . . . and nothing  obscene is happening!

The cop asks: "What's your age, young man?" 

The young man says "I'm 22, sir." The cop asks:  "And her. . . what's her age?"

The young man looks at his watch and replies: "She'll be 18 in 11  minutes."

[Calkins]

 

[John Noonan]

If you don't find good clean humor in that you have a problem..

[Calkins]

O, I do.  But my humor starts alittle farther beyond that 

[Geo]

But my humor starts alittle farther beyond that


Yea, about 11 minutes farther.

Geo

[Calkins]

Wow!  We need to talk!

People at work are still talking to me after I say 'weird things' but I bet you could fix that!

[Stainless1]

Off Subject... but this thread was handy

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose.
A young student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath.
' Nurse, he mumbles from behind the mask, are my testicles black?'
Embarrassed, she replies, 'I don't know, Sir... I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet.'
He struggles to ask again, 'Nurse, please check.... Are my testicles black?'
Concerned that he may elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worry about his testicles, she overcomes her
embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, takes his manhood in one hand and checks out his
testicles with the other.
Then she says, 'There's nothing wrong with them sir!'
The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly..........
'Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but listen very, very closely.........



'A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s - b a c k ?'

back to lovers lane ...

[Calkins]

 

[Milwaukee Midget]

Don't blame me - Stainless brought up the subject . . .

A woman applies for, and receives a job in a factory that makes stuffed animals.  Their biggest seller was the "Tickle Me Elmo". 

The production line was quite elaborate, and very efficient, and the new hire was impressed, but a bit intimidated.

"What do you want me to do?", asked the new employee.

"When they get to to the end of the line, just before you box 'em up, give 'em two testicles", said the woman's new boss.

Soon, the line was backed up, and the new woman was desperately sewing fuzzy little nads on the orange animals, trying to keep up.

Her boss stopped the production line, and came up furiously to the new hire and shouted, "What the heck are you doing?"

"I'm trying to sew on testicles, but these things are coming to fast to keep up!", she said, nearly in tears.

The boss started laughing, and then said, "No . . . TWO TEST TICKLES".

Probably should have waited 'til Friday . . .

 

[theazoldcrow]

Thats how to tell if a girl is ticklish!  Give her a couple of test tickles!   Crow

[Stainless1]

This one seems to be on track for this thread.... 

Little Bruce and Jenny are only 10 years old, but they know they are in love.

One day they decide that they want to get married, so Bruce goes to Jenny's father to ask him for her hand.

Bruce bravely walks up to him and says, "Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage."

Thinking that this was just the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies, "Well Bruce, you are only 10.. Where will you two live?"

Without even taking a moment to think about it, Bruce replies, "In Jenny's room. It's bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely."

Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith says with a huge grin, "Okay, then how will you live? You're not old enough to get a job. You'll need to support Jenny."

Again, Bruce instantly replies, "Our allowance, Jenny makes five bucks a week and I make 10 bucks a week. That's about 60 bucks a month, so that should do us just fine."

Mr. Smith is impressed Bruce has put so much thought into this.

"Well Bruce, it seems like you have everything figured out. I just have one more question. What will you do if the two of you should have little children of your own?"

Bruce just shrugs his shoulders and says, "Well, we've been lucky so far."

Mr. Smith no longer thinks the little shit is adorable.

[stratman59]

 

[penny]

how do you tell whose your best friend.you lock your dog and wife in the trunk,when you let them out see whose happiest to see you.