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Author Topic: Blonde joke  (Read 31478 times)
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fastesthonda_jim
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« Reply #90 on: March 31, 2015, 11:00:48 PM »

Maybe not so "Blonde".  I have it on good authority that the "victim" vehicle belonged to her boyfriend.
Probably not an LSR guy though.
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Stainless1
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« Reply #91 on: June 05, 2015, 08:18:29 AM »

Two sisters, one  blonde and one brunette, inherit  the family ranch.  Unfortunately, after just a  few years, they  are down to their last $600 and in financial trouble..

In  order to keep the  bank from repossessing the   
Ranch, they need  to purchase a bull so that they  can breed their  own stock.
Upon leaving,  the brunette tells  her sister, 'When I get
There, if I decide  to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home.'
 
The brunette  arrives at the man's ranch, inspects  the bull, and decides she wants to buy  it.

The man tells her that  he will sell it for $599, no less.
After  paying him, she drives  the nearest town    to send  her sister a telegram to tell her the  news.

She walks  into the telegraph office, and says, 'I  want to send a telegram to my sister telling her  that I've bought a  bull for our ranch.
 
I need her to  hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it 
Home.'
 
The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, it will cost 99 cents  a word.
Well,  after paying for the bull, the brunette realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word.
 
After a few  minutes of thinking, she nods and says,  'I want you to send her the word  'comfortable.'
 
The operator  shakes
His head. 'How is  she ever going to know that you want her to  hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive  out here to haul that bull back 
To your ranch if  you send her just the word 'comfortable?'
 
The brunette  explains, 'My
Sister's' blonde.  The word is
Big. She'll  read it very slowly.
'com-for-DA-bul.'
 
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Stainless
Red Hat 228.039, 2001, 65ci, MSA Bockscar Lakester with a little N20 
MSA Bockscar Lakester #1000 my fastest mile 245 and change, 84 ci turbobusa motor... but Corey's 233 MPH H/BFL record is still 3MPH faster than mine.
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« Reply #92 on: June 05, 2015, 09:19:28 AM »

Two sisters, one  blonde and one brunette, inherit  the family ranch.  Unfortunately, after just a  few years, they  are down to their last $600 and in financial trouble..

In  order to keep the  bank from repossessing the   
Ranch, they need  to purchase a bull so that they  can breed their  own stock.
Upon leaving,  the brunette tells  her sister, 'When I get
There, if I decide  to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home.'
 
The brunette  arrives at the man's ranch, inspects  the bull, and decides she wants to buy  it.

The man tells her that  he will sell it for $599, no less.
After  paying him, she drives  the nearest town    to send  her sister a telegram to tell her the  news.

She walks  into the telegraph office, and says, 'I  want to send a telegram to my sister telling her  that I've bought a  bull for our ranch.
 
I need her to  hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it 
Home.'
 
The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, it will cost 99 cents  a word.
Well,  after paying for the bull, the brunette realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word.
 
After a few  minutes of thinking, she nods and says,  'I want you to send her the word  'comfortable.'
 
The operator  shakes
His head. 'How is  she ever going to know that you want her to  hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive  out here to haul that bull back 
To your ranch if  you send her just the word 'comfortable?'
 
The brunette  explains, 'My
Sister's' blonde.  The word is
Big. She'll  read it very slowly.
'com-for-DA-bul.'
 



* humerus.jpg (9.21 KB, 236x236 - viewed 142 times.)
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floydjer
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« Reply #93 on: August 07, 2015, 09:17:07 AM »

How do a blonde`s brain cells die???.....Alone
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floydjer
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« Reply #94 on: August 07, 2015, 09:20:04 AM »

a blonde associate of mine wanted to impress me with her knowledge of state capitals....I asked what the capital of Utah is...She said  ..." U" cheers
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« Reply #95 on: August 20, 2015, 10:43:28 PM »

What do you call an intelligent blonde?
A Golden Retriever.
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tauruck
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« Reply #96 on: August 20, 2015, 10:55:19 PM »

Q: Why did God give blonde's 2 more brain cells than he gave cows? 

A: So they wouldn't  Subaru all over when you play with their tits.
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« Reply #97 on: August 20, 2015, 10:59:50 PM »

Q: How did the BLONDE die ice fishing?.

A: She was run over by the Zamboni.
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floydjer
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« Reply #98 on: August 21, 2015, 04:38:39 PM »

geez Mike...pace yourself.
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4-barrel Mike
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« Reply #99 on: September 09, 2015, 06:22:10 PM »

The Horse Rider

A 30 year-old blonde decides to try horseback riding for the first time.  With no lessons, nor prior experience, she mounts the horse unassisted, and the horse immediately springs into motion.

It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slide from the saddle.

In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip.  She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the horse's side anyway.

The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider.

Giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety.  Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup.

She is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves and as her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Frank, the WalMart greeter, sees her dilemma and unplugs the horse.

Mike
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Kiwi Paul
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« Reply #100 on: September 13, 2015, 09:13:56 PM »

Mike!!! We have a WINNER!!! Haven`t laughed so hard in ages.... grin grin grin grin grin
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floydjer
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« Reply #101 on: January 22, 2016, 08:27:02 AM »

Why does it take longer to build a blonde snow man???  Because you have to hollow out the head.   (yes spelling police...I know that males are blond and females are blonde.....) cheers
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I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.
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