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Author Topic: The un-official Land Racing Joke Thread  (Read 362408 times)

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Offline kiwi belly tank

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Re: The un-official Land Racing Joke Thread
« Reply #960 on: August 31, 2018, 01:40:35 PM »
Many years ago I worked at a VW shop & the owner's name was Jack Doff.
  Sid.

Offline floydjer

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Re: The un-official Land Racing Joke Thread
« Reply #961 on: September 19, 2018, 11:53:28 AM »
I`m confused.....smoking will kill you...bacon will kill you...But smoking bacon cures it ????
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: The un-official Land Racing Joke Thread
« Reply #962 on: September 19, 2018, 12:00:35 PM »
I removed the battery from my carbon monoxide detector.....that loud beeping was making me dizzy and sleepy...…………………….
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: The un-official Land Racing Joke Thread
« Reply #963 on: September 20, 2018, 07:47:42 AM »
A pal of mine said his wife told him that sex is better while on vacation......Struck me as a rude thing to write on a post card...…………………...
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline WOODY@DDLLC

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Re: The un-official Land Racing Joke Thread
« Reply #964 on: September 20, 2018, 08:34:45 AM »
That's what I tried to tell her!  :-D
All models are wrong, but some are useful! G.E. Box (1967) www.designdreams.biz

Offline tauruck

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Re: The un-official Land Racing Joke Thread
« Reply #965 on: September 20, 2018, 09:37:09 AM »
Many years ago I worked at a VW shop & the owner's name was Jack Doff.
  Sid.

Doff means dumb here in SA.

Offline floydjer

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Re: The un-official Land Racing Joke Thread
« Reply #966 on: September 25, 2018, 07:31:08 AM »
I thought about going to the local comedy club for amateur night.....But I don`t want people laughing at me( Abuse starts in 3....2....)
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: The un-official Land Racing Joke Thread
« Reply #967 on: September 27, 2018, 08:01:01 AM »
Strange......When I was a kid I could pull off my clothes and run around the yard naked and people thought it was funny....Today?..Not so much
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: The un-official Land Racing Joke Thread
« Reply #968 on: October 09, 2018, 07:47:46 AM »
I seem to have mis-placed my watch...………..I`ll see if I can find the time to look for it...………….
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: The un-official Land Racing Joke Thread
« Reply #969 on: October 18, 2018, 12:36:54 PM »
Just spotted an add in the bargain corner …" Radio, Volume knob is broken and stuck on full..$1"...…..Hmmm, I can`t turn that down...………….. :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Online Seldom Seen Slim

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Re: The un-official Land Racing Joke Thread
« Reply #970 on: October 18, 2018, 12:44:24 PM »
Good, Jer -- Good!
Jon E. Wennerberg
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 (that's way up north)
2 Club member x2
Owner of landracing.com

Offline tauruck

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Re: The un-official Land Racing Joke Thread
« Reply #971 on: October 18, 2018, 09:57:20 PM »
A bit early but Racingjunk sent an email full of Spooktacular deals for the end of the month.

Offline WOODY@DDLLC

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Re: The un-official Land Racing Joke Thread
« Reply #972 on: October 19, 2018, 08:44:46 AM »
Bear mystery finally solved! :-o :-D :cheers:
All models are wrong, but some are useful! G.E. Box (1967) www.designdreams.biz

Offline floydjer

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Re: The un-official Land Racing Joke Thread
« Reply #973 on: October 31, 2018, 02:20:42 PM »
just a thought...How about alphabet soup combined w/ a laxative??  I could call it " Letter Rip"....Yes I know what day it is...I may be out of town Friday...……... :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline grumm441

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Re: The un-official Land Racing Joke Thread
« Reply #974 on: December 24, 2018, 02:31:29 AM »
I used work with a guy named Wayne Carr
the name was appropriate

Moving on
Australia used to have a Prime Minister named Harold Hold
the name used to get used in rhyming slang, doing a Harold Holt was doing a bolt, or sneaking away

There was also a US Navy Knox class destroyer named after him.
He vanished while swimming at Chevoit beach in Victoria, while he was the Prime minister of Australia, presumed drowned
there was also some conspiracy theories floated that he was a Chinese spy and swam out to a Chinese submarine that was waiting for him
Perhaps we'll never know
Unless of course , the Chinese name a Submarine after him

And what did we do in Australia
Named a pool after him of course
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harold_Holt_Memorial_Swimming_Centre

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