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Author Topic: The un-official Land Racing Joke Thread  (Read 362910 times)

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Offline floydjer

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Re: The un-official Land Racing Joke Thread
« Reply #930 on: May 23, 2018, 09:50:31 AM »
drop a zero?  you still cheesed off over Pearl Harbor ??? :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: The un-official Land Racing Joke Thread
« Reply #931 on: June 08, 2018, 01:14:09 PM »
Not a joke....but still entertaining...My buddy Dan bought a `52 Ford 8N tractor...Got a "good deal" because of an electrical issue that drained the battery over night.  He tired of the battery charger/ jump start routine and decided to fire a complete broad side from the parts cannon at it. Replaced the battery cables, battery (twice) regulator, wiring harness ,solenoid and ammeter. I went over to his place to have a look and offer shrugged shoulders .  Quick peek at the connections revealed the armature and field leads were reversed at the regulator.  Works much better now. :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: The un-official Land Racing Joke Thread
« Reply #932 on: June 19, 2018, 08:11:04 AM »
This Land Speed racer wins  one million dollars on a lottery ticket......His wife asks what he will do with "all that cash"...He ponders for a moment and says..." Guess I`ll keep racing at Bonneville until the million runs out" :-o
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: The un-official Land Racing Joke Thread
« Reply #933 on: July 19, 2018, 07:50:33 AM »
Caitlyn Jenner`s kids see right through her....she`s " Trans-parent " :cheers: :cheers: :cheers: :cheers: :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Rcktscientist

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Re: The un-official Land Racing Joke Thread
« Reply #934 on: August 17, 2018, 08:37:35 PM »
Political, but I can't help myself also...

A Very Republican worker sees his Republican boss come into work with a very expensive new car. He says wow, that's nice. His boss responds "If you continue to work long hours and weekends I can get an even nicer one next year".

Offline floydjer

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Re: The un-official Land Racing Joke Thread
« Reply #935 on: August 20, 2018, 07:31:30 AM »
R/Scientist......With God as my witness, I have an associate who called a company meeting to explain at great length why employee raises would not be forthcoming due to material cost increases.....And then pulled a supervisor aside and requested he come in on Saturday to let the overhead door people in the shop. They were installing an opener on a bay door so he could park the new Ferrari he just purchased inside.....
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline WOODY@DDLLC

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Re: The un-official Land Racing Joke Thread
« Reply #936 on: August 20, 2018, 08:53:41 AM »
Major layoffs announced and plant manager parks his new Porsche out front the next day!  :-o :x
Really did not understand the meaning of the dead ground hog on his hood later that day!  :-o :?
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Offline Rcktscientist

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Re: The un-official Land Racing Joke Thread
« Reply #937 on: August 20, 2018, 10:46:58 AM »
Getting away from reality and trying to keep it light...

A boss asked his worker to come into his office. Upon arriving the boss told him he was fired. Why? the employee asked. The boss said "I hate your guts". The employee responded "I thought you liked me, you gave me a big raise last week". The boss responded "I wanted you to lose a better job".

Offline floydjer

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Re: The un-official Land Racing Joke Thread
« Reply #938 on: August 20, 2018, 11:54:24 AM »
Reminds me of the stock-boy at a major corp. who was called to the company President`s office...Prez asks how long he has been w/ the co....Guys says " About a week".  Prez tells him he is retiring and starting Monday that he will take over....Guy says  " Cool"...Prez, says  " You have been here a week and I just turned over a multi-billion dollar corporation to you and all you can say is " Cool"?...Kid thinks for a moment and says "  Uh...Cool...dad "???
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline jimmy six

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Re: The un-official Land Racing Joke Thread
« Reply #939 on: August 20, 2018, 07:51:23 PM »
I think a good joke is whats going on under Bonneville 2018 "Fastest Gas Vehicle"...But then I have a sick sense of humor...
First GMC 6 powered Fuel roadster over 200, with 2 red hats. Pit crew for Patrick Tone's Super Stock #49 Camaro

Offline floydjer

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Re: The un-official Land Racing Joke Thread
« Reply #940 on: August 21, 2018, 08:23:12 AM »
No props mentioned ….yet :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: The un-official Land Racing Joke Thread
« Reply #941 on: August 24, 2018, 08:26:03 AM »
yup...…...
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Seldom Seen Slim

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Re: The un-official Land Racing Joke Thread
« Reply #942 on: August 24, 2018, 08:35:10 AM »
The Old guy was Chairman of the Board and CEO and one day decided to retire.  He walked into the staff  area and told one young lad "Starting Monday you're the new Chairman/CEO.  What do you think of that?".

The lad said:  "Unh, gee, thanks."

The old Man harrumphed and said "You started here just a week ago and you take this tremendous promotion for granted?  Is that all you can say?"

The kid thought for a minute and said:  "Oh, sure, yeah.  Thanks, Dad"
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Offline floydjer

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Re: The un-official Land Racing Joke Thread
« Reply #943 on: August 24, 2018, 09:12:50 AM »
Uh Slim.....Scroll back a few posts...……………….. :evil:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Seldom Seen Slim

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Re: The un-official Land Racing Joke Thread
« Reply #944 on: August 24, 2018, 09:23:44 AM »
Yeah, Jerry, the 60s were good to me - I think.  Kinda hard to remember.

Why do you ask?
Jon E. Wennerberg
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