Author Topic: The un-official Land Racing Joke Thread  (Read 335780 times)

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Offline fordboy628

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Re: The un-official Land Racing Joke Thread
« Reply #900 on: October 31, 2017, 07:32:51 AM »
From my son-in-law... "If you make it idiot proof, they'll just make a better idiot'".


x2

Something I deal with every day I'm at the drag shop . . . . . . . . . . .

Sample question while "inspecting" 4 out of 8 spark plugs with melted side electrodes:   "Do you think my mixture could be too lean?"

 :dhorse: :dhorse: :dhorse:
I used to be a people person.  But people changed that relationship.

"There is nothing permanent except change."    Heraclitus

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."     Albert Einstein

Offline fordboy628

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Re: The un-official Land Racing Joke Thread
« Reply #901 on: October 31, 2017, 07:35:52 AM »
Just for Halloween:

What costume does a cow wear on Halloween?       A Moo-me, of course!!

 :dhorse:
I used to be a people person.  But people changed that relationship.

"There is nothing permanent except change."    Heraclitus

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."     Albert Einstein

Offline floydjer

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Re: The un-official Land Racing Joke Thread
« Reply #902 on: October 31, 2017, 07:46:33 AM »
My school did not offer this course.....
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline WOODY@DDLLC

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Re: The un-official Land Racing Joke Thread
« Reply #903 on: October 31, 2017, 11:08:25 AM »
Mark Twain said something to the effect, "You can't make something idiot proof - the idiots are too damned devious!"  :-o :-D
All models are wrong, but some are useful! G.E. Box (1967) www.designdreams.biz

Offline Podunk

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Re: The un-official Land Racing Joke Thread
« Reply #904 on: November 02, 2017, 06:07:25 PM »
Some are home schooled.

Offline floydjer

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Re: The un-official Land Racing Joke Thread
« Reply #905 on: November 09, 2017, 11:04:43 AM »
I just heard on the news that a midget had his pocket picked....How could anyone stoop so low ???? :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline salt27

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Re: The un-official Land Racing Joke Thread
« Reply #906 on: November 09, 2017, 09:53:52 PM »
I just heard on the news that a midget had his pocket picked....How could anyone stoop so low ???? :cheers:

Probably stretching exercises.   :-D

Offline jdincau

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Re: The un-official Land Racing Joke Thread
« Reply #907 on: January 14, 2018, 06:33:37 PM »
I went to the liquor store Tuesday afternoon on my bicycle, bought a bottle of Jack Daniels and put it in the bicycle basket. 

As I was about to leave, I thought to myself that if I fell off the bicycle, the bottle would break.

So I drank all the Jack Daniels before I cycled home. 

It turned out to be a very good decision, because I fell off my bicycle seven times on the way home.

Unless it's crazy, ambitious and delusional, it's not worth our time!

Offline floydjer

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Re: The un-official Land Racing Joke Thread
« Reply #908 on: January 15, 2018, 11:33:16 AM »
hardest part of bike riding ???...The pavement :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: The un-official Land Racing Joke Thread
« Reply #909 on: February 26, 2018, 09:01:14 AM »
Patti has been rather sad since Milo the cat passed away so I got her a puppy. She sometimes pees on the floor and now the dog has started doing it too...... :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: The un-official Land Racing Joke Thread
« Reply #910 on: March 13, 2018, 08:27:46 AM »
The bride and I were talking last night and I mentioned that should I die...She is to sell off all my tools and equipment ASAP...Since I know she`d re-marry and I don`t want some other idiot using my tools. She said..." what makes you think I`d marry ANOTHER idiot? ".....
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: The un-official Land Racing Joke Thread
« Reply #911 on: March 14, 2018, 09:27:05 AM »
3.14 % of all sailors are Pi-rates........................Pi Day/ Friday...Same thing :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: The un-official Land Racing Joke Thread
« Reply #912 on: March 28, 2018, 08:42:34 AM »
I tried cutting a piece of metal into a  square and ended up w/ a hexagon....That`s what I get for cutting corners..........
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline WOODY@DDLLC

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Re: The un-official Land Racing Joke Thread
« Reply #913 on: March 28, 2018, 10:44:43 AM »
Jer, you must have gone off on a tangent - you should have had an octagon.  :-o :-D
All models are wrong, but some are useful! G.E. Box (1967) www.designdreams.biz

Offline floydjer

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Re: The un-official Land Racing Joke Thread
« Reply #914 on: March 28, 2018, 11:51:11 AM »
Don't be so obtuse with your corrections Woody... :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.