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Author Topic: The un-official Land Racing Joke Thread  (Read 349248 times)

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Offline Dean Los Angeles

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Re: The un-official Land Racing Stupid Joke Thread
« Reply #60 on: July 01, 2009, 07:42:59 PM »
Name two useless things with one glove . . .

The Los Angeles Dodgers . . .

And Michael Jackson.
Well, it used to be Los Angeles . . . 50 miles north of Fresno now.
Just remember . . . It isn't life or death.
It's bigger than life or death! It's RACING.

Offline floydjer

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Re: The un-official Land Racing Stupid Joke Thread
« Reply #61 on: July 02, 2009, 07:54:00 AM »
I see that to honor the memory of Michael Jackson, K-Mart is having a sale.........Boys pants 1/2 off.
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Seldom Seen Slim

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Re: The un-official Land Racing Stupid Joke Thread
« Reply #62 on: July 02, 2009, 08:56:29 AM »
Well, fine -- if that's the way you want to be -- here's a saying I learned from my mother:

"Thirty days hath September,

April, May, and no wonder.

All the rest eat peanut butter

Except Grandma -- she drives a Buick."
Jon E. Wennerberg
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Offline theazoldcrow

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Re: The un-official Land Racing Stupid Joke Thread
« Reply #63 on: July 02, 2009, 09:00:50 AM »
And remember what Abe Lincoln said,,,,, "If at first you don't suceed,  Suck. suck, until you do suck seed!"     (I dion't think he really said that, do you?)      Crow
The Earth, is an intergalactic insane asylum.!

Offline Milwaukee Midget

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Re: The un-official Land Racing Stupid Joke Thread
« Reply #64 on: July 02, 2009, 12:39:50 PM »
And remember what Abe Lincoln said,,,,, "If at first you don't suceed,  Suck. suck, until you do suck seed!"     (I dion't think he really said that, do you?)      Crow
The prefix of "Success" is "Sucks"?

 :?

Now that I think about it, I guess it is!

 :cheers:
"Problems are almost always a sign of progress."  Harold Bettes
Well, I guess we're making a LOT of progress . . .  :roll:

We are NOT rebuilding . . . We are reloading.

GOD SAVE MG - The Queen can take care of herself!

Offline Seldom Seen Slim

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Re: The un-official Land Racing Stupid Joke Thread
« Reply #65 on: July 02, 2009, 01:10:34 PM »
Gravity is a myth.  In the real world, the earth sucks, that's all.
Jon E. Wennerberg
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Offline theazoldcrow

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Re: The un-official Land Racing Stupid Joke Thread
« Reply #66 on: July 02, 2009, 05:47:09 PM »
 :?  If you think you have "it" all together,  whats that all around "it"?    Crow
The Earth, is an intergalactic insane asylum.!

Offline floydjer

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Re: The un-official Land Racing Stupid Joke Thread
« Reply #67 on: July 02, 2009, 07:59:38 PM »
O.K. Slim....."Piggly wiggly/ bird bath pie/fish lips,cat hips/ poke you in the eye"(  a shiny quarter to any one who knows the author of that gem) :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline k.h.

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Re: The un-official Land Racing Stupid Joke Thread
« Reply #68 on: July 02, 2009, 10:14:57 PM »
B. Kliban
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice.  But in practice, there is.--Jan L. A. Van de Snepscheut

Offline theazoldcrow

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Re: The un-official Land Racing Stupid Joke Thread
« Reply #69 on: July 03, 2009, 10:23:03 AM »
 :? Abe Lincoln???    Crow
The Earth, is an intergalactic insane asylum.!

Offline floydjer

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Re: The un-official Land Racing Stupid Joke Thread
« Reply #70 on: July 03, 2009, 10:41:53 PM »
B. Kliban
D#$@.....How soon you want the quarter??
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Seldom Seen Slim

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Re: The un-official Land Racing Stupid Joke Thread
« Reply #71 on: July 04, 2009, 07:31:56 AM »
Jerry, I was gonna say Kliban, too.  Send me the loose change, okay?  I was late 'cause I was trying to visualize some other Kliban works -- like the cat:

"Cat:  H@ll of a nice animal,frequently mistaken for a meatloaf."

That was his, too, right?
Jon E. Wennerberg
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Offline Dean Los Angeles

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Re: The un-official Land Racing Stupid Joke Thread
« Reply #72 on: July 04, 2009, 12:09:32 PM »
Yep

Well, it used to be Los Angeles . . . 50 miles north of Fresno now.
Just remember . . . It isn't life or death.
It's bigger than life or death! It's RACING.

Offline k.h.

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Re: The un-official Land Racing Stupid Joke Thread
« Reply #73 on: July 04, 2009, 03:45:03 PM »
Keep the quarter, it's worth that much for the memories of thumbing through Playboy in my youth, when I wasn't reading Road & Track for Henry Manny pieces.  Regards . . .
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice.  But in practice, there is.--Jan L. A. Van de Snepscheut

Offline Dean Los Angeles

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Re: The un-official Land Racing Stupid Joke Thread
« Reply #74 on: July 05, 2009, 01:59:23 PM »
That's Henry N Manney III to you sir!

The April fools edition of Road & Track always contained "road tests" by Henry of interesting vehicles.

1962: San Francisco Cable Car
1963: London Bus
1964: Morris Major-Mini-Minor
1965: None
1966: Gresley A3 Pacific Locomotive
1967: Sopwith Camel F.1
1968: Electrophant
1969: Greyhound Bus
1970: Mercedes Benz GT (Garbage Truck)
1971: (January) Jaguar XK-EE 12
1972: Goodyear Blimp
1973: Hop Rod Pogo Stick (headroom and ground clearance both listed as "variable").
1974: Maserati MT-3 Bicycle
1975: Cal Poly Rose Parade Float
1976: None
1977: Arrow JP 770 DW Roller Coaster Car
1978: Quantu-Motion Motorboard (motorized skateboard)
1979: Soarmaster C5A Commuter Special (motorized hang glider)
1980: Willis Flyer (laydown go-cart)
1981: Budweiser Clydesdale 8-Horse Hitch
1982: Route 66 "road" test
1983: Sedan Chair
1984: Kenworth W900 Aerodyne
1985: KSC 554,756 Hardtop (Space shuttle hauler)
1986: Pontiac 0-77 Excitement Hot Air Balloon
1987: Six Italian Urban Electrics (Bumper cars)
1988: Queen Elizabeth 2 versus Concorde
1989: None
1990: North American Mustang P-51D
1991: Hover Dynamics RX2000 (Hovercar)
1992: Runyan Racing 20DT (Dog sled)
1993: JPL Rocky IV Microrover (Martian surface rover)
1994: Three Great Subterrainean Transport Systems (London, Paris, and Tokyo Subways)
1995: America 3 (America's Cup Yacht)
1996: Indiana Jones Adventure Troop Transport Ride
1997: 1958 Porsche Junior (Tractor)

And Henry drove the Cyclops at Le Mans.
Well . . . Stan Mott created a cartoon that took on a life of its own with Henry driving.
This will help.
http://web.archive.org/web/20040814164956/www.cyclops.force9.co.uk/frames/cyclops.html
Well, it used to be Los Angeles . . . 50 miles north of Fresno now.
Just remember . . . It isn't life or death.
It's bigger than life or death! It's RACING.