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k.h.
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« Reply #315 on: September 16, 2010, 02:07:39 PM » |
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Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a Martini. The bartender asks, "Olive or twist?"
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In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But in practice, there is.--Jan L. A. Van de Snepscheut
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4-barrel Mike
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Age: 65
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 1885
Any fool can drive a V8
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« Reply #316 on: September 23, 2010, 04:45:04 PM » |
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Pretty slow around here...   Mike |
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Mike Kelly - PROUD owner of the V4F that powered the #1931 VGC to a 82.803 mph record in 2008!
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4-barrel Mike
Hero Member
Offline
Age: 65
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 1885
Any fool can drive a V8
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« Reply #317 on: September 28, 2010, 06:07:20 PM » |
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One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenly remembers that it's his daughter's birthday. He pulls over to a Toy Shop and asks the sales person, 'How much for one of those Barbie's in the display window?' The salesperson answers, 'Which one do you mean, Sir?We have: Work Out Barbie for $19.95, Shopping Barbie for $19.95, Beach Barbie for $19.95, Disco Barbie for $19.95, Ballerina Barbie for $19.95, Astronaut Barbie for $19.95, Skater Barbie for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.95'. The amazed father asks: 'It's what?! Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and the others only $19.95?' The annoyed salesperson rolls her eyes, sighs, and answers: 'Sir...Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken's Car, Ken's House, Ken's Boat, Ken's Furniture, Ken's Computer, one of Ken's Friends, and a key chain made with Ken's balls.  |
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Mike Kelly - PROUD owner of the V4F that powered the #1931 VGC to a 82.803 mph record in 2008!
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4-barrel Mike
Hero Member
Offline
Age: 65
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 1885
Any fool can drive a V8
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« Reply #318 on: October 06, 2010, 10:48:20 AM » |
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From my crazy uncle in Red Bluff: Finally! A shoe phone for seniors!  |
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Mike Kelly - PROUD owner of the V4F that powered the #1931 VGC to a 82.803 mph record in 2008!
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theazoldcrow
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« Reply #319 on: October 06, 2010, 10:55:25 AM » |
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 ?
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The Earth, is an intergalactic insane asylum.!
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Stan Back
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« Reply #320 on: October 09, 2010, 04:11:05 PM » |
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Took me a while.
(It's got a dial.)
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Member of the San Berdoo Roadsters – California's most-exclusive roadster club.
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theazoldcrow
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« Reply #321 on: October 10, 2010, 09:47:42 AM » |
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Got the dial part,,,,,,,what is a "shoe" phone?
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The Earth, is an intergalactic insane asylum.!
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Cajun Kid
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Age: 51
Location: Winston Salem, North Carolina
Posts: 3174
Venable Rod's & Racing #805 Studebaker, #806 Ford
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« Reply #322 on: October 10, 2010, 10:33:34 AM » |
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Ever watch "Get Smart" ? Shoe Phone before cell phones LOL
Charles
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ECTA Record Holder Maxton E/CBFALT, E/CBGALT, E/CGALT, E/CFALT, A/CGALT, C/CGALT, D/CGALT, C/CBGALT, B/CBGALT, C/CFALT OHIO B/CGALT, C/CGALT LTA Record Holder and 200 Club Member A/CBFALT, B/CBFALT, C/CBFALT, C/CFALT, C/CGALT, E/CGALT, E/CFALT Fastest Standing Mile at Ohio 196.833mph Fastest Standing Mile at Maxton 191.006mph Fastest Standing 1.5 Mile at Loring 205.939mph http://s261.photobucket.com/albums/ii43/cajunkid5690/Blog www.venablerodsandracing.comemail venableracing@gmail.com |
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Milwaukee Midget
Global Moderator
Hero Member
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Age: 53
Location: Beerhaven, Wisconsin
Posts: 3273
If in doubt, it probably IS a mistake.
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« Reply #323 on: October 10, 2010, 11:14:18 AM » |
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Ever watch "Get Smart" ? Shoe Phone before cell phones LOL
Charles
Got it, Chief! |
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"Information - we want - information"
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theazoldcrow
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« Reply #324 on: October 10, 2010, 02:40:43 PM » |
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 I was THAT close! Thanks for the explaination! Crow.
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The Earth, is an intergalactic insane asylum.!
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relaxedphit
Sr. Member
Offline
Age: 61
Location: Archer Lodge, NC
Posts: 281
Organ Donor...refrigerate after opening
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« Reply #325 on: October 10, 2010, 08:20:56 PM » |
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Ya wanna go old school....Dick Tracey
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RidgeRunner
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« Reply #326 on: October 10, 2010, 08:30:22 PM » |
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Now that I might have understood. At least I wasn't alone.
Ed
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floydjer
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Age: 55
Location: grand rapids, michigan
Posts: 994
"There is no duck side of the moon..."
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« Reply #327 on: October 12, 2010, 09:30:36 AM » |
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Friday has come early this week...................This guy loses all his toes to frostbite and his friends abandon him.....I guess they were lack-toes intolerant |
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I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.
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Moxnix
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« Reply #328 on: October 18, 2010, 10:09:46 PM » |
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An older gentleman had an appointment to see the urologist who shared offices with several other doctors.
The waiting room was filled with patients. As he approached the receptionist's desk,he noticed that the receptionist was a large
unfriendly woman who looked like a Sumo wrestler..
He gave her his name.
In a very loud voice, the receptionist said,
"YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE; YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?"
All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to look at the very embarrassed man....
He recovered quickly, and in an equally loud voice replied, "NO, I'VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION, BUT I DON'T WANT
THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS."
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johnneilson
Sr. Member
Offline
Age: 52
Location: N 34 ° 15 ' 0 '' W 118 ° 21 ' 53
Posts: 312
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« Reply #329 on: October 19, 2010, 01:08:17 PM » |
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From my buddy who claims the world is sick and he is a happy guy.....
A cruise on the Pacific goes all wrong!
The ship sinks, and there are only 3 Survivors, Dave, John and Debbie.
They manage to swim to a small island
and they live there for a couple of years doing what's natural for men
and women to do.
After several years
of casual sex all the time,
Debbie felt absolutely horrible
about what she was doing.
She felt having sex with both
Dave and John was so immoral
and bad that she killed herself.
It was tragic, but Dave and John
managed to get through it.
After a while, Dave and John's
resistance to nature's urgings waned,
and the inevitable happened.
A couple more years went by
and Dave and John began to feel
absolutely horrible about what
they were doing.
So they buried Debbie.
Note: John, there was a bunch of garble and email and so on that was tacked on to the end of your story, so I deleted it. If you really did want it -- well, put it back. I doubt that you did it on purpose, though. . . Jon a/k/a Seldom Seen Slim
Thanks, I need to be careful with the control V command.........John Spaz Extraordinaire
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« Last Edit: October 19, 2010, 01:58:57 PM by johnneilson »
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1st Gen Miata Fiberglass and Carbon Fiber components from legendary Molds. www.jnent.net |
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