Landracing Forum Home
November 24, 2017, 01:28:58 PM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?

Login with username, password and session length
News:
BACK TO LANDRACING.COM HOMEPAGE
 
   Home   Help Search Calendar Login Register  


(Note: Donations are not tax deductible)







Live Audio Streaming and Archives of Past Events
Next Live Event: TBD
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: Super Walmart just opened  (Read 2168 times)
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
Stainless1
Administrator
Hero Member
***
Offline Offline

Age: 66
Location: Wichita KS
Posts: 6457


Robert W. P. "Stainless" Steele Wichita, Kansas



« on: March 21, 2009, 10:14:05 PM »

The new super Walmart just opened near my house. It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.

When you pass the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and you experience the scent of fresh hay.
 
In the meat department there is the aroma of charcoal grilled steaks with onions.
 
When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.

The bread department features the tantalizing smell of fresh baked bread and cookies.

I don't plan to buy toilet paper there any more... tongue

 cheers
Logged

Stainless
Red Hat 228.039, 2001, 65ci, MSA Bockscar Lakester with a little N20 
MSA Bockscar Lakester #1000 my fastest mile 245 and change, 84 ci turbobusa motor... but Corey's 233 MPH H/BFL record is still 3MPH faster than mine.
Stainless1
Administrator
Hero Member
***
Offline Offline

Age: 66
Location: Wichita KS
Posts: 6457


Robert W. P. "Stainless" Steele Wichita, Kansas



« Reply #1 on: March 21, 2009, 10:24:24 PM »

Mind your beer  rolleyes

Just recieved an email from a guy that is no longer on the forum, he reminded me of the amazing technology he will show up to race with that most of us will not understand...  undecided

fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid 
Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.
i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny  iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and yuo awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! Yuor so sputid!
JimDJr
Logged

Stainless
Red Hat 228.039, 2001, 65ci, MSA Bockscar Lakester with a little N20 
MSA Bockscar Lakester #1000 my fastest mile 245 and change, 84 ci turbobusa motor... but Corey's 233 MPH H/BFL record is still 3MPH faster than mine.
Geo
Sr. Member
****
Offline Offline

Location: Prairie Village, Kansas the other OZ
Posts: 563





Ignore
« Reply #2 on: March 21, 2009, 11:04:10 PM »

Thanks Saitnelss,

I had to get to the end to find out I was sputid!

Geo
Logged
Dean Los Angeles
Hero Member
*****
Offline Offline

Age: 67
Location: Coarsegold
Posts: 2370




Ignore
« Reply #3 on: March 22, 2009, 01:35:35 PM »

        Norwegian Math Test

A Norwegian fella wants a job, but the foreman won't hire him until he passes a little math test.

Here is your first question, the foreman said.  'Without using numbers, represent the number 9.'

'Without numbers?'  The Norwegian says, 'Dat's easy.' and proceeds to draw three trees.



'What's this?' the boss asks.

'Vot! you got no brain?  Tree and tree and tree make nine,' says the Norwegian.

'Fair enough,' says the boss.  'Here's your second question.  Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99.'

The Norwegian stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree. 'Dar ya go.'



The boss scratches his head and says, 'How on earth do you get that to represent 99?'

'Each of da trees is dirty now.  So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree.  Dat is 99.'

The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually have to hire this Norwegian, so he says, 'All right, last question.

Same rules again, but represent the number 100.'

The Norwegian fella stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, 'Dar ya go.  Von hundred.'



The boss looks at the attempt.  'You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!'

The Norwegian leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and says,

'A little dog come along and pooped by each tree.   

So now you got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, vich makes von hundred.'

'So, ven do I start?
Logged

Well, it used to be Los Angeles . . . 50 miles north of Fresno now.
Just remember . . . It isn't life or death.
It's bigger than life or death! It's RACING.
Dean Los Angeles
Hero Member
*****
Offline Offline

Age: 67
Location: Coarsegold
Posts: 2370




Ignore
« Reply #4 on: March 22, 2009, 08:42:23 PM »

The CEO of Kentucky Fried Chicken manages to arrange a meeting with the Pope at the Vatican. After receiving the papal blessing, he whispers, "Your eminence, we have an offer for you. KFC is prepared to donate $100 million dollars to the church if you change the Lord's Prayer from 'give us this day our daily bread' to, 'give us this day our daily chicken.'

The Pope responds, "That is impossible. The Prayer is the word of the Lord it must not be changed."

"Well," says the KFC man, "we anticipated your reluctance. For this reason, we will increase our offer to $300 million dollars. All we require is that you change the Lord's Prayer from 'give us this day our daily bread 'to 'give us this day our daily chicken.'

Again, the Pope replies, "That, my son, is impossible. For the prayer is the word of the Lord and it must not be changed."

Finally, the KFC guy says, "Your Holiness, we at Kentucky Fried Chicken respect your adherence to your faith, but we do have one final offer. We will donate $500 million dollars - that's half a billion dollars - to the great Catholic church if you would only change the Lord's Prayer from 'give us this day our daily bread' to 'give us this day our daily chicken.'

Please consider it." And he leaves.

The next day the Pope convenes the College of Cardinals.
"There is some good news," he announces, "and some bad news."
"The good news is that the Church will come into $500 million dollars."
"And the bad news, your Eminence?" asks a Cardinal. "We're losing the Wonderbread Account."
Logged

Well, it used to be Los Angeles . . . 50 miles north of Fresno now.
Just remember . . . It isn't life or death.
It's bigger than life or death! It's RACING.
Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2015, Simple Machines
Simple Audio Video Embedder
Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!


Google visited last this page September 05, 2017, 08:31:49 AM