Author Topic: Stupid joke Friday  (Read 904931 times)

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Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3765 on: October 19, 2018, 09:29:28 AM »
I bought a new thesaurus and all of the pages are blank...…..I have no words for how angry that made me...……...
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3766 on: October 19, 2018, 09:32:22 AM »
O.K....I see how Bob wants to play...……………..Why did the guy wear his wedding ring on the wrong finger???...Because he married the wrong woman.... :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Milwaukee Midget

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3767 on: October 19, 2018, 09:56:55 AM »
Recently I was invited to a friends wedding... invitation required a RSVP

I guess "maybe next time" was not an acceptable answer for his bride

Reminds me of a quote by David Hidalgo of the band, "Los Lobos".

Before they started recording and touring, they played a lot of weddings in and around East LA.

"If you got married in East LA in the 1970s, we played your wedding", and adds, "Probably both of them".
"Problems are almost always a sign of progress."  Harold Bettes
Well, I guess we're making a LOT of progress . . .  :roll:

We are NOT rebuilding . . . We are reloading.

GOD SAVE MG - The Queen can take care of herself!

Offline tauruck

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3768 on: October 19, 2018, 11:43:35 AM »
MEDICAL ALERT!!!

Attention users of the "Little Blue Pill"

MEDICAL ALERT!!!

Reliable news reports this morning say that Russia's leading pharmaceutical manufacturer, based in Moscow and owned by an oligarch pal of Putin, has begun  production of a generic "Little Blue Pill" copy.

Please ensure that the pill you are taking is genuinely U.S. made.

We can't have the Russians messing with our erections!

Are you Chinese with the Flied Lice?????, :-D

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3769 on: October 26, 2018, 12:08:03 PM »
Misspell one word and the whole text is urined………..
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3770 on: October 26, 2018, 12:08:51 PM »
Do you get annoyed when people answer their own questions??..I sure do
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3771 on: October 26, 2018, 12:09:27 PM »
Patti said I never listen to her...Or something like that.... :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Milwaukee Midget

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3772 on: October 26, 2018, 03:26:21 PM »
Patti said I never listen to her...Or something like that.... :cheers:

Who told you that?
"Problems are almost always a sign of progress."  Harold Bettes
Well, I guess we're making a LOT of progress . . .  :roll:

We are NOT rebuilding . . . We are reloading.

GOD SAVE MG - The Queen can take care of herself!

Offline rgdavid

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3773 on: October 26, 2018, 04:20:16 PM »
Not having a good day...a coffin salesman rang today......i told him....that's the last thing i need

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3774 on: November 02, 2018, 07:36:16 AM »
What do you call an evil turkey??...Poultry geist
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Stainless1

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3775 on: November 02, 2018, 10:53:41 AM »
Ya know what happens when you don't pay your exorcist... your house gets repossessed 
Stainless
Red Hat 228.039, 2001, 65ci, MSA Bockscar Lakester with a little N20 
MSA Bockscar Lakester #1000 my fastest mile 245 and change, 84 ci turbobusa motor... but Corey's 233 MPH H/BFL record is still 3MPH faster than mine.

Offline 4-barrel Mike

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3776 on: November 02, 2018, 08:02:35 PM »
End of Day Light Saving Time this Sunday.  Don't forget to Fall Forward.   :evil:  :cheers:

Mike
Mike Kelly - PROUD owner of the V4F that powered the #1931 VGC to a 82.803 mph record in 2008!

Offline tauruck

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3777 on: November 02, 2018, 10:02:22 PM »
Just what I need at 5AM.
Jerry, without a doubt you are the funniest guy around.
My brother's name is Jerry. He's not funny.
Poor Patti. She has to put up with you.

You'd probably leave me waiting at the airport for days.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3778 on: November 09, 2018, 07:53:22 AM »
Peter Pan has been placed on the no-fly list,....The reasoning is that if he gets onboard, The plane will Never never land...………………..
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3779 on: November 16, 2018, 07:43:40 AM »
This guy in Texas goes on trial for murder..If convicted he`ll be executed. He and his brother come up with a plan...His bro` will bribe a juror to hold out for manslaughter and save his life.  The brother offers a kindly looking old lady $10,000 for the task and she agrees. Trial concludes, Guy is convicted on manslaughter and the brother goes to the lady`s house to pay her. He hands over the cash and she says " That was the toughest 10 grand I ever earned.....The others all thought he was innocent and wanted to let him go....I had to convince them it was manslaughter'.... :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.