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Author Topic: Stupid joke Friday  (Read 870170 times)

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Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3675 on: July 27, 2018, 01:49:11 PM »
eating a camper...How bar-bear-ic……...How`d you like to be the bearer of that news ?? :dhorse:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Ron Gibson

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3676 on: July 27, 2018, 02:03:57 PM »
Wouldn't the aluminum skin get stuck in their teeth  :? :?

Ron
Life is an abrasive. Whether you get ground away or polished to a shine depends on what you are made of.

Offline USFRAMONTE

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3677 on: July 27, 2018, 02:38:18 PM »
I can bear-ly take all these puns!

Offline Dynoroom

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3678 on: July 27, 2018, 03:23:02 PM »
Yep Monte, pretty un-bear-able to this grizzly old guy...
Michael LeFevers
Kugel and LeFevers Pontiac Firebird

Without Data You're Just Another Guy With An Opinion!

Racing is just a series of "Problem Solving" events that allow you to spend money & make noise...

Offline WOODY@DDLLC

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3679 on: July 27, 2018, 06:24:39 PM »
Let's change our bear-ing ............... :dhorse: :dhorse:

FIVE RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE

1 - Money cannot buy happiness - but it's far more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than on a bicycle.

2 - Forgive your enemy - but remember the a**hole's name.

3 - If you help someone when they're in trouble - they will remember you when they're in trouble again.

4 - Alcohol does not solve any problems - but then neither does milk.

5 - Many people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.

BONUS RULE:

Condoms do not guarantee safe sex.  A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband.
All models are wrong, but some are useful! G.E. Box (1967) www.designdreams.biz

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3680 on: August 03, 2018, 08:35:29 AM »
Patti was filling her car`s gas tank while smoking a cigar and her arm caught fire....When the police showed up, They shot her for waving a fire arm...…………...
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3681 on: August 10, 2018, 11:06:05 AM »
I have a salt joke but it is sodium that not even I would say it...………………...
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline jdincau

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3682 on: August 10, 2018, 11:13:26 AM »
you mean it would be an assault on our sensibilities?
Unless it's crazy, ambitious and delusional, it's not worth our time!

Offline Ron Gibson

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3683 on: August 10, 2018, 11:30:45 AM »
Maybe even a little or a lot "CRUSTY", depending on the time of day.

Ron

Life is an abrasive. Whether you get ground away or polished to a shine depends on what you are made of.

Offline Milwaukee Midget

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3684 on: August 10, 2018, 12:02:19 PM »
It would have probably have fallen flat . . .
"Problems are almost always a sign of progress."  Harold Bettes
Well, I guess we're making a LOT of progress . . .  :roll:

We are NOT rebuilding . . . We are reloading.

GOD SAVE MG - The Queen can take care of herself!

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3685 on: August 10, 2018, 01:49:55 PM »
Yeah....I sorta shot myself with my own A-salt weapon...……………..
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3686 on: August 17, 2018, 07:47:46 AM »
I had a joke about silverware but I said " Ah...fork it"...………….
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3687 on: August 17, 2018, 09:03:58 AM »
Speaking of cutlery......I just heard one of my spoons talking with a knife and fork....It said that it felt it`s life was pointless...………….
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline tauruck

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3688 on: August 17, 2018, 09:54:33 AM »
An elderly gentleman went to the local drug store and asked the pharmacist for the little blue "Viagra" pill.

The pharmacist asked, "How many?"

The man replied, "Just a few, maybe a half dozen.  I cut each one into four pieces.”

The pharmacist said, "That's too small a dose. That won't get you through intimacy."

The old fellow said, "Oh, I'm over eighty years old and I don't even think about intimacy much anymore.
 I just want it to stick out far enough so I don't pee on my new golf shoes.



Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3689 on: August 17, 2018, 10:08:30 AM »
OK Mike......I`ll play...……………….Did you know there is a generic version of Viagra ??  It`s called ' Mycoxastandin"
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.