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Author Topic: Stupid joke Friday  (Read 878717 times)

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Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3375 on: September 29, 2017, 10:05:20 AM »
Being the awesome spouse that I am...I even know Patti`s favorite flower....Pillsbury self rising...................
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Seldom Seen Slim

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3376 on: September 29, 2017, 10:15:58 AM »
I knew it!  I knew that someday this topic would blossom!
Jon E. Wennerberg
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 Skandia, Michigan
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Owner of landracing.com

Offline Milwaukee Midget

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3377 on: September 29, 2017, 10:36:42 AM »
I knew it!  I knew that someday this topic would blossom!

Time to deadhead it, before it goes to seed . . .
"Problems are almost always a sign of progress."  Harold Bettes
Well, I guess we're making a LOT of progress . . .  :roll:

We are NOT rebuilding . . . We are reloading.

GOD SAVE MG - The Queen can take care of herself!

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3378 on: September 29, 2017, 10:55:43 AM »
Deadhead??  You speak german..mate?? :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Stan Back

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3379 on: September 29, 2017, 11:02:00 AM »
The root of it is that it stems from bad speling and grammer.
Member of the San Berdoo Roadsters -- "California's Most-Exclusive Roadster Club".
Celebrating 67th anniversary of racing on the salt.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3380 on: September 29, 2017, 11:16:22 AM »
SB has blossomed into quite the comedian today (went out on a limb for that one)
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3381 on: September 29, 2017, 11:20:33 AM »
I meant to give the bride flowers yesterday...But then I remembered I hadn`t botany...........
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3382 on: October 06, 2017, 08:13:00 AM »
Know what pigs and ink have in common? They both get put in pens...........
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3383 on: October 06, 2017, 08:13:57 AM »
And I never said I went to Penn. State...I said I was in the State Pen................. :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Milwaukee Midget

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3384 on: October 06, 2017, 08:47:09 AM »
And I never said I went to Penn. State...I said I was in the State Pen................. :cheers:

So's the coaching staff . . .
"Problems are almost always a sign of progress."  Harold Bettes
Well, I guess we're making a LOT of progress . . .  :roll:

We are NOT rebuilding . . . We are reloading.

GOD SAVE MG - The Queen can take care of herself!

Offline Seldom Seen Slim

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3385 on: October 06, 2017, 08:49:30 AM »
Which brings to mind the title of a book written about the baseball teams of the Marquette Branch (state) Prison here in the old days.  Coach Brumm's book was titled "We Only Played Home Games". :roll:

https://www.amazon.com/Only-Played-Home-Games-Michigans/dp/0971805008
Jon E. Wennerberg
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 Skandia, Michigan
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Offline Milwaukee Midget

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3386 on: October 06, 2017, 08:57:21 AM »
Which brings to mind the title of a book written about the baseball teams of the Marquette Branch (state) Prison here in the old days.  Coach Brumm's book was titled "We Only Played Home Games". :roll:

https://www.amazon.com/Only-Played-Home-Games-Michigans/dp/0971805008

Wow, and all this time, I thought the inmates we're playing in Ann Arbor . . .

PS - Go Hawkeyes . . .
"Problems are almost always a sign of progress."  Harold Bettes
Well, I guess we're making a LOT of progress . . .  :roll:

We are NOT rebuilding . . . We are reloading.

GOD SAVE MG - The Queen can take care of herself!

Offline WOODY@DDLLC

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3387 on: October 06, 2017, 09:21:26 AM »
A SIGN IN A SHOE REPAIR STORE IN VANCOUVER READS:
We will heel you
We will save your sole
We will even dye for you.

 A SIGN ON A BLINDS AND CURTAIN TRUCK:
“Blind man driving.”
 
Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:   
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix.”
 
In a Podiatrist's office:   
"Time wounds all heels.”
 
On a Septic Tank Truck:
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels
 
At an Optometrist's Office:
"If you don't see what you're looking for,
You've come to the right place.”
 
On a Plumber's truck:
"We repair what your husband fixed.”
 
On another Plumber's truck:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.”
 
At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:
"Invite us to your next blowout.”
 
On an Electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts.”
 
In a Non-smoking Area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and will take appropriate action.”
 
On a Maternity Room door:
"Push. Push. Push.”
 
At a Car Dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.”
 
Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.”
 
In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”
 
At the Electric Company:
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment on time. However, if you don't, YOU will be de-lighted.”
 
In a Restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.”
 
In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait.”
 
At a Propane Filling Station:
"Thank Heaven for little grills.”
 
In a Chicago Radiator Shop:
"Best place in town to take a leak.”
 
And the best one for last…;
Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:
"Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises"
All models are wrong, but some are useful! G.E. Box (1967) www.designdreams.biz

Offline Seldom Seen Slim

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3388 on: October 06, 2017, 09:43:44 AM »
Old people shut up and let the youngsters wonder where you'd find this saying:

"Here I sit, Broken Hearted.
Paid a Nickle, Only Farted." :-D :-D
Jon E. Wennerberg
 a/k/a Seldom Seen Slim
 Skandia, Michigan
 (that's way up north)
2 Club member x2
Owner of landracing.com

Offline manta22

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3389 on: October 06, 2017, 10:27:59 AM »
Sign on the door of the Cremation Society:

"Think Outside The Box"

Regards, Neil  Tucson, AZ
Regards, Neil  Tucson, AZ