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Author Topic: Stupid joke Friday  (Read 987902 times)

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Offline fordboy628

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2355 on: February 20, 2015, 08:55:15 AM »
My cat refuses to play cards with me...he says I`m a cheetah............

You're lion . . .
No wait...it`s because of a claws in his contract............
I suppose he's feline fine about that.

It's a doggone shame what's happened to this thread . . . . . .    :roll:
Science, NOT Magic . . . .

I used to be a people person.  But people changed that relationship.

"There is nothing permanent except change."    Heraclitus

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."     Albert Einstein

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2356 on: February 20, 2015, 09:01:06 AM »
We`re on topic...You`re barking up the wrong tree................... :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Milwaukee Midget

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2357 on: February 20, 2015, 09:07:09 AM »
We`re on topic...You`re barking up the wrong tree................... :cheers:

That's not what your paw said.

Kate has cats.  

I don't, but Kate does.

One night I woke up to meowing and howling from the kitchen.

Seems one had gotten locked up in a cupboard, and was scared to death.

I had no idea he was clawstrophobic . . .
"Problems are almost always a sign of progress."  Harold Bettes
Well, I guess we're making a LOT of progress . . .  :roll:

We are NOT rebuilding . . . We are reloading.

GOD SAVE MG - The Queen can take care of herself!

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2358 on: February 20, 2015, 09:26:44 AM »
I think Chris has a list he re-furs to........................................( I am so paw-some ) :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Milwaukee Midget

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2359 on: February 20, 2015, 09:29:41 AM »
I think Chris has a list he re-furs to........................................( I am so paw-some ) :cheers:

I keep it in the clawset.
"Problems are almost always a sign of progress."  Harold Bettes
Well, I guess we're making a LOT of progress . . .  :roll:

We are NOT rebuilding . . . We are reloading.

GOD SAVE MG - The Queen can take care of herself!

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2360 on: February 20, 2015, 10:20:30 AM »
Big clawset or just a litter one???
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Milwaukee Midget

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2361 on: February 20, 2015, 10:26:19 AM »
Big clawset or just a litter one???

STOP KITTEN AROUND WITH ME!
"Problems are almost always a sign of progress."  Harold Bettes
Well, I guess we're making a LOT of progress . . .  :roll:

We are NOT rebuilding . . . We are reloading.

GOD SAVE MG - The Queen can take care of herself!

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2362 on: February 20, 2015, 10:54:27 AM »
Meow Chris is yelling....Purr-fect.
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2363 on: February 20, 2015, 10:55:24 AM »
Once he calms down, We`ll hiss and make up...............
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline USFRAMONTE

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2364 on: February 20, 2015, 11:07:41 AM »
It's time to paws this!

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2365 on: February 20, 2015, 11:30:55 AM »
Did i mention that my cat plays guitar??  he`s a mew-sician.
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Milwaukee Midget

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2366 on: February 20, 2015, 11:51:43 AM »
Did i mention that my cat plays guitar??  he`s a mew-sician.

Guitar players are tough to categorize.
"Problems are almost always a sign of progress."  Harold Bettes
Well, I guess we're making a LOT of progress . . .  :roll:

We are NOT rebuilding . . . We are reloading.

GOD SAVE MG - The Queen can take care of herself!

Robin UK

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2367 on: February 20, 2015, 11:53:07 AM »
One of those very rare German jokes:

Q. Why is there no aspirin in the jungle?

A. Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest.

 :cheers:

Robin

Robin UK

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2368 on: February 20, 2015, 11:55:40 AM »
There are 10 sorts of people in this world:

Those who understand the binary system and those who don't.

Robin

Offline Podunk

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2369 on: February 20, 2015, 06:10:24 PM »
It's already Friday in parts of Michigan - so before I forget . . .

Got back from my medical exam.  What a fiasco.

Right in the middle of the procedure, a newspaper editor came running into the room, pulled out a red pen, marked up my chart and ordered the procedure stopped.

So I only received a semicolonoscopy.
What kind of halfass remark is that?