Author Topic: Stupid joke FRIDAY  (Read 2147057 times)

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Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2340 on: February 13, 2015, 12:20:10 PM »
George Carlin...Now that`s a step in the right direction............
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Seldom Seen Slim

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2341 on: February 13, 2015, 12:25:12 PM »
Just yesterday I paid homage to him (Geore C.) at Taco Hell.  They've changed their order-taking procedure a bit.  They have, 'til just recently, assigned each order a number that would then be called out by the server as the food was done and at the counter.  Now they ask for a name when the order is placed.  I don't say "Jon" or "Slim", but rather I use goofy or unusual names.  One day I was Godzilla -- and yesterday I signed in as Tondelaya.  The server almost always is laughing so hard that he/she can't call the name out with any clarity.  But what the heck -- it's fun for us.
Jon E. Wennerberg
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Offline Ron Gibson

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2342 on: February 13, 2015, 12:50:05 PM »
You know why farts stink?? 

So the deaf can enjoy them.

Ron
Life is an abrasive. Whether you get ground away or polished to a shine depends on what you are made of.

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2343 on: February 13, 2015, 02:41:49 PM »
A friend of mine was badly injured when all his books fell on him. He's only got his shelf to blame.

Robin

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2344 on: February 13, 2015, 02:51:59 PM »
 Thank you Robin..... :cheers:Good on ya` mate
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Milwaukee Midget

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2345 on: February 20, 2015, 12:17:14 AM »
It's already Friday in parts of Michigan - so before I forget . . .

Got back from my medical exam.  What a fiasco.

Right in the middle of the procedure, a newspaper editor came running into the room, pulled out a red pen, marked up my chart and ordered the procedure stopped.

So I only received a semicolonoscopy.
"Problems are almost always a sign of progress."  Harold Bettes
Well, I guess we're making a LOT of progress . . .  :roll:

Offline 4-barrel Mike

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2346 on: February 20, 2015, 12:48:18 AM »
Well, if it's Friday in parts of Michigan,


.. Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
 

It's obvious that the three-year-old didn't want to be kid napped.

Mike
Mike Kelly - PROUD owner of the V4F that powered the #1931 VGC to a 82.803 mph record in 2008!

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2347 on: February 20, 2015, 08:59:03 AM »
My cat has joined the police department....Monday he starts his carreer in claw enforcement.................
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2348 on: February 20, 2015, 09:00:09 AM »
....he can`t wait to catch his first purrpetrator..........
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Milwaukee Midget

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2349 on: February 20, 2015, 09:13:51 AM »
....he can`t wait to catch his first purrpetrator..........

I understand Inspector Dewclaw is in line for a purrmotion . . .
"Problems are almost always a sign of progress."  Harold Bettes
Well, I guess we're making a LOT of progress . . .  :roll:

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2350 on: February 20, 2015, 09:17:16 AM »
A friend asked me to check on her dog while she was out of town....So I went to see the little fur ball...Pee`d on the floor, crapped in her chair.  I`m guessing she`ll blame the dog.................... :evil:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2351 on: February 20, 2015, 09:18:37 AM »
My cat refuses to play cards with me...he says I`m a cheetah............
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Milwaukee Midget

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2352 on: February 20, 2015, 09:24:17 AM »
My cat refuses to play cards with me...he says I`m a cheetah............

You're lion . . .
"Problems are almost always a sign of progress."  Harold Bettes
Well, I guess we're making a LOT of progress . . .  :roll:

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2353 on: February 20, 2015, 09:34:52 AM »
My cat refuses to play cards with me...he says I`m a cheetah............

You're lion . . .
No wait...it`s because of a claws in his contract............
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Milwaukee Midget

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2354 on: February 20, 2015, 09:51:49 AM »
My cat refuses to play cards with me...he says I`m a cheetah............

You're lion . . .
No wait...it`s because of a claws in his contract............
I suppose he's feline fine about that.
"Problems are almost always a sign of progress."  Harold Bettes
Well, I guess we're making a LOT of progress . . .  :roll: