Author Topic: Stupid joke FRIDAY  (Read 2147241 times)

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Offline will6er

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1845 on: May 10, 2014, 12:08:33 AM »
I once had a job circumcising elephants. The pay wasn't great, but the tips were tremendous

Offline grumm441

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1846 on: May 16, 2014, 07:14:18 AM »
A 90-year-old man said to his doctor, "I've never felt better. I have an 18-year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?"

The doctor considered his question for a minute and then said, "I have an elderly friend who is a hunter and never misses a season. One day when he was going out in a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his umbrella instead of his gun. When he got to the Creek, he saw a beaver sitting beside the stream. He raised his umbrella and went, 'bang, bang' and the beaver fell dead. What do you think of that?"

The 90-year-old said, "I'd say somebody else shot that beaver."

The doctor replied, "My point exactly."
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Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1847 on: May 16, 2014, 08:18:01 AM »
Walking by the state prison the other day and I saw a midget escaping over the wall. Just as he hit the ground he turned and sneered at me...I thought to myself " That`s a little condescending" :cheers:
« Last Edit: May 16, 2014, 08:57:53 AM by floydjer »
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline 4-barrel Mike

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1848 on: May 16, 2014, 08:41:28 AM »
Life is like a penis - simple, relaxed and hanging free . . .it's women who make it hard.
Mike Kelly - PROUD owner of the V4F that powered the #1931 VGC to a 82.803 mph record in 2008!

Offline Milwaukee Midget

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1849 on: May 16, 2014, 09:37:54 AM »
Walking by the state prison the other day and I saw a midget escaping over the wall. Just as he hit the ground he turned and sneered at me...I thought to myself " That`s a little condescending" :cheers:

This explains why the DEA was out back of the Pommy Pygmy Playhouse with their bloodhounds and their searchlights, pounding on the door.

That's my ne'er-do-well brother, the Muskegon Midget.

Momma tried . . .
"Problems are almost always a sign of progress."  Harold Bettes
Well, I guess we're making a LOT of progress . . .  :roll:

Offline USFRAMONTE

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1850 on: May 16, 2014, 09:58:54 AM »
It has finally occured to me that midgets and dwarfs,
have very little in common.
   

Offline USFRAMONTE

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1851 on: May 16, 2014, 10:06:03 AM »
What is the best part of living in Switzerland?

I'm not really sure, but the flag is a big plus.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1852 on: May 16, 2014, 10:15:38 AM »
My apologies to all that were offended by my lack of political correctness in my previous post.....It`s not a "Prison"...It is a " Correctional Facility".......... :evil:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline USFRAMONTE

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1853 on: May 16, 2014, 10:50:46 AM »
Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippie?

He was too far out man!

Offline tauruck

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1854 on: May 16, 2014, 11:07:28 AM »
A 90-year-old man said to his doctor, "I've never felt better. I have an 18-year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?"

The doctor considered his question for a minute and then said, "I have an elderly friend who is a hunter and never misses a season. One day when he was going out in a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his umbrella instead of his gun. When he got to the Creek, he saw a beaver sitting beside the stream. He raised his umbrella and went, 'bang, bang' and the beaver fell dead. What do you think of that?"

The 90-year-old said, "I'd say somebody else shot that beaver."

The doctor replied, "My point exactly."

G, that's a good one. Thanks man. :cheers: :cheers: :cheers: :cheers: :cheers:

Offline Milwaukee Midget

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1855 on: May 16, 2014, 01:13:22 PM »
My apologies to all that were offended by my lack of political correctness in my previous post.....It`s not a "Prison"...It is a " Correctional Facility".......... :evil:

On behalf of Midgets everywhere, that's mighty big of you.  :cheers:
"Problems are almost always a sign of progress."  Harold Bettes
Well, I guess we're making a LOT of progress . . .  :roll:

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1856 on: May 16, 2014, 02:30:05 PM »
.................My kindness is dwarfed by yours Chris..............
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1857 on: May 23, 2014, 10:35:58 AM »
What is the difference betwen ignorance and apathy???.. I don`t know and I don`t care.....Hey !! You know why ducks fly south for the winter??? Because it`s too far to walk...! :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline salt27

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1858 on: May 23, 2014, 10:52:01 AM »
You're quacking me up.   :roll:

Offline tauruck

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1859 on: May 23, 2014, 10:57:06 AM »
Jerry, Jerry!!!

Is that all you've got?. :-D :-D :-D