Stupid joke FRIDAY

[TRT1954]

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“

[charlie101]

I had a joke for today about amnesia...But I forgot how it goes............

I have to write that joke down....Now where the did I put my pencil?

[Seldom Seen Slim]

I was going to tell you a story about procrastinating - but I keep putting it off 'til next time.

[Milwaukee Midget]

I think I don't not think anymore, I think, at least not as little as I think I used to not think, I think.

[doug odom]

What if the Hokey-Pokey is really what it's all about?

[Dean Los Angeles]

Hey! No jokes about procrastinating.

I'm on the planning committee for the American Procrastinating Society's 2009 annual meeting.

[Milwaukee Midget]

I see the Keebler Elves started a band - the Saltines of Swing.

[Ron Gibson]

I've intended to join Procrastinators Club of America for about 50 years, but never got around to it.

Ron

[Seldom Seen Slim]

http://www.procrastinators.org/oldsite/links.shtml

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-procrastination-equation/201103/the-greatest-procrastinator-in-history-still-alive-puts-dea

[Milwaukee Midget]

http://www.procrastinators.org/oldsite/links.shtml

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-procrastination-equation/201103/the-greatest-procrastinator-in-history-still-alive-puts-dea

Jon, do I really have to click on these now?

[Stainless1]

I'm planning to visit those later this week... 

[Speed Limit 1000]

"This is just funny!!!! A young Texan grew up wanting to be a lawman. He grew up big, 6' 2", strong as a Longhorn and fast as mustang. He could shoot a bottle cap tossed in the air at 40 paces. When he finally came of age, he applied to where he had only dreamed of working: a West Texas sheriff's department. After a series of tests and interviews, the chief deputy called him into his office for the young man's last interview. The chief deputy said, "You're a big strong kid and you can really shoot. So far your qualifications all look good, but we have, what you might call,an attitude sufficiency test. We just don't let anyone carry our badge, son." Then, sliding a service pistol and a box of ammo across the desk, the deputy said, "Take this pistol and go out and shoot: six illegal aliens, six lawyers, six meth dealers, six Muslim extremists, six congressmen and a rabbit." "Why the rabbit?" queried the applicant. "You pass," said the chief deputy."When can you start?""

[floydjer]

No wonder that calendar was so cheap.......................

[Stan Back]

Hang on to it!  It'll be good in another 6 (or is it 5 or 7) years, unless Leap Year factors in.  Screw it -- it'll be good sometime.  Check it March 1st.  If it's good then, the rest of the year will work.

[fastesthonda_jim]

Floyd, you can always give that calendar to Kent.  He'll make good use of it timing his car.