Author Topic: Stupid joke FRIDAY  (Read 2147160 times)

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Online Seldom Seen Slim

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1185 on: January 25, 2013, 02:40:50 PM »
Jon, unh, mmm, the rhythmic structure of that last one is lacking -- but why do I think that it's okay the way it's written? :roll:
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Offline Captthundarr

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1186 on: January 25, 2013, 06:09:31 PM »
What do you call an Irish man bouncing off the wall......... Ric O'Shea. from the wife, Irish girl,4th grade school teacher....I quit now.....
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Offline Stan Back

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1187 on: January 25, 2013, 06:53:28 PM »
"Jon, unh, mmm, the rhythmic structure of that last one is lacking -- but why do I think that it's okay the way it's written?"

My guess is that he thought you'd edit it so he c'unt leave it alone.
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Offline theazoldcrow

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1188 on: January 25, 2013, 08:28:59 PM »
Jack and Jill went up the hill,
They each had a buck and a quarter !
Jill came down with two fifty,
Ya think they went up for water ?

Hickory dickory dock'
Two mice ran up the clock.
The clock struck one,
The other escaped with insurable injuries.

Hi diddle diddle,
the cat and a fiddle,
the cow jumped over the moon !
Now wasn't that an assanine thing for a creature of the bovine cult to attempt.
The Earth, is an intergalactic insane asylum.!

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1189 on: February 01, 2013, 09:10:45 AM »
I have a terrible fear of elevators....I even take steps to avoid them. :-)
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline fastesthonda_jim

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1190 on: February 07, 2013, 04:53:21 PM »
Okay, it's Friday in the land of OZ.  (I checked).

Dan was a single guy living at home with his father (who was clearly NOT a salt racer)
and working in the family business. When he found out
he was going to inherit a fortune when his ill father died,
he decided he needed to find a wife with whom to share his fortune.
One evening, at an investment meeting, he spotted the most
beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away.
"I may look like just an ordinary guy," he said to her, "But in just a few months my father will die and I will inherit $200 million."
Impressed, the woman asked for his business card
and three days later, she became his stepmother.
Women are so much better at financial planning than men.
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Offline Dean Los Angeles

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1191 on: February 08, 2013, 12:17:13 AM »
Einstein, Newton, and Pascal are hanging out one afternoon.
Einstein is bored, so he suggests, "Let's play hide-and-seek. I'll be it!"
The others agree, so Einstein begins counting. "One . . . Two . . . Three . . ."
Pascal runs off right away to find a place to hide.
But Newton merely takes out a piece of chalk and draws a mid-sized square.
He finishes and steps into the square just as Einstein shouts, "Ready or not - here I come!"
Einstein looks up and immediately spots Newton standing right in front of him.
He says, "I found you, Newton!"
Newton replies, "No, you found one Newton per square meter - You found Pascal!"
Well, it used to be Los Angeles . . . 50 miles north of Fresno now.
Just remember . . . It isn't life or death.
It's bigger than life or death! It's RACING.

Offline Dean Los Angeles

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1192 on: February 08, 2013, 12:40:18 AM »
Did anybody see the original Matrix? Or Pulp Fiction?
Well, it used to be Los Angeles . . . 50 miles north of Fresno now.
Just remember . . . It isn't life or death.
It's bigger than life or death! It's RACING.

Offline Stainless1

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1193 on: February 08, 2013, 10:15:18 AM »
Jerry.... Monte.... would one of you please get this thread back on track, it is seriously derailed...
Stainless
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Offline Dean Los Angeles

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1194 on: February 08, 2013, 10:53:20 AM »
A women takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work.

Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch.

The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.

The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes, it is."
Boy: 'I have a baseball..'
Man: 'That's nice'
Boy: 'Want to buy it?'
Man: 'No thanks.'
Boy: 'My Dad's outside.'
Man: 'OK, how much?'
Boy: '$250.'

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.

Boy: 'Dark in here.'
Man 'Yes, it is."
Boy: 'I have a baseball glove.'
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, 'How much?'
Boy: '$750'
Man: 'Sold.'

A few days later, the Dad says to the boy, 'Grab your glove, let's go outside and have a game of catch.'
The boy says, 'I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove.'
The Dad asks, 'How much did you sell them for?'
Boy: '$1,000'

The Dad says, 'That's terrible to over charge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I'm taking you to church, to confession.'
They go to the church and the Dad makes the little boy sit in the confessional booth and closes the door.

The boy says, 'Dark in here.'

The priest says, 'Dont start that s**t again; you're in my closet now.'
Well, it used to be Los Angeles . . . 50 miles north of Fresno now.
Just remember . . . It isn't life or death.
It's bigger than life or death! It's RACING.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1195 on: February 08, 2013, 11:04:06 AM »
Try this Bob............................I had dinner last night at a Chinese place.....My entree` kept looking at me with one eye. I think it was a Peking Duck. :cheers:  The rest of you? Straighten up.
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Captthundarr

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1196 on: February 08, 2013, 01:39:40 PM »
That's better :-D
Live,Laugh, Love /  Jack Scratch Racing /ECTA   
Amy Hartman-Driver, Frank Hartman-everthing else.
C/GALT 137.65 Ohio Mile check that 144.12 2013, AA/GALT 159.34 Ohio Mile 2014. B/GALT 180.577 RECORD 6/15

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1197 on: February 08, 2013, 01:47:03 PM »
That's better :-D
I`m always available for stupidity......................Hey, wait a minute :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1198 on: February 15, 2013, 08:56:05 AM »
I had a joke for today about amnesia...But I forgot how it goes............ :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Dean Los Angeles

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1199 on: February 15, 2013, 11:15:48 AM »
I had dinner at a german-chinese restaurant last night.

10 minutes later I was hungry for power again.
Well, it used to be Los Angeles . . . 50 miles north of Fresno now.
Just remember . . . It isn't life or death.
It's bigger than life or death! It's RACING.