Author Topic: Stupid joke FRIDAY  (Read 2147078 times)

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Offline Kevin G

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1125 on: November 16, 2012, 10:36:45 AM »
In honor of huntin' season

What do you call a deer with no eye?  No Ideer

What do you call a deer with no eye and no legs?  Still no Ideer.
68 in a 55. Michigan State Police. 98
65 in a 55. Wayne County Sheriff. 02
Loud exhaust. Memphis City Police 03

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1126 on: November 23, 2012, 08:35:01 AM »
Decided not to eat the turkey...I`m taking him bowling instead. At least I think that`s what he said he wanted to do..." Go bowl..Go bowl "
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Kevin G

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1127 on: November 23, 2012, 09:01:56 AM »
Woke up last night to the ghost of our thanksgiving turky. I think we are haunted by a Poultrygeist.
68 in a 55. Michigan State Police. 98
65 in a 55. Wayne County Sheriff. 02
Loud exhaust. Memphis City Police 03

Offline Kevin G

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1128 on: November 30, 2012, 07:51:23 AM »
Whats the difference between Mick Jager and a Scottish sheep herder?
Mick Jager says "Hay! You! Get off of my cloud!"
The Scottish Sheep herder says "Hey McCloud! Get off of my ewe!"
68 in a 55. Michigan State Police. 98
65 in a 55. Wayne County Sheriff. 02
Loud exhaust. Memphis City Police 03

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1129 on: November 30, 2012, 12:10:03 PM »
I found a new paddle for my canoe and it was even on-sale...................It was quite an oar deal :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1130 on: November 30, 2012, 12:12:59 PM »
Whats the difference between Mick Jager and a Scottish sheep herder?
Mick Jager says "Hay! You! Get off of my cloud!"
The Scottish Sheep herder says "Hey McCloud! Get off of my ewe!"
Reminds me of the time that Mick Jagger saw the founder of Playboy magazine having  a quiet moment  with Dennis Weaver....he sang ........." Hey, Hey Hugh...Get off from McCloud................." :evil:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1131 on: December 07, 2012, 09:04:32 AM »
There is a store giving away dead batteries...They are free of charge..................... :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1132 on: December 14, 2012, 08:33:36 AM »
Hmmm...This thing on?????...................That old woman who lived in  a shoe wasn`t the sole owner...There were strings attached. :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline USFRAMONTE

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1133 on: December 14, 2012, 11:33:28 AM »
What is orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.

Offline JustaRacer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1134 on: December 14, 2012, 11:56:47 AM »
There is a new show called Amish Mafia (for real).

First episode:

Found a body in the river tied to an iron plow.

Another was found shot in the head, stuffed up a horse's arse, and set afire.  

Then you hear CLOP CLOP CLOP BANG BANG BANG CLOP CLOP CLOP ...  Another drive-by shooting.
« Last Edit: December 14, 2012, 12:06:54 PM by JustaRacer »
My doctor told me to go out and kill people.
Well, sort of.  He told me to reduce the stress in my life.

Offline USFRAMONTE

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1135 on: December 14, 2012, 12:01:25 PM »
What kind of pants do clouds wear?
Thunderpants.

I know my jokes are pretty stupid but you have to remember that I work with the Cub Scouts so that should explain it.

Offline JustaRacer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1136 on: December 14, 2012, 12:01:45 PM »
Arthur was the security guard at Safeway.

He was called to aisle 5 to break up a fight.

There were two men fighting over a dollar bill that was found on the ground.

Arthur tries to reason with them, but to no avail.

So he put each of them in a sleeper hold until they passed out, then called the police.

The headline the next day:

























Arty Chokes Two For A Dollar at Safeway
My doctor told me to go out and kill people.
Well, sort of.  He told me to reduce the stress in my life.

Offline rgn

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1137 on: December 14, 2012, 07:31:56 PM »
After 100 years lying on the sea bed, Irish divers were amazed to find that the Titanic's swimming pool was still full!   :cheers:

Offline JustaRacer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1138 on: December 16, 2012, 01:13:16 PM »
If you are offended easy, do not watch:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HNMq8XS4LhE

Rated PG-13.
My doctor told me to go out and kill people.
Well, sort of.  He told me to reduce the stress in my life.

Offline olepaw

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1139 on: December 16, 2012, 04:28:09 PM »
ok?
D/CGC record Ohio mile
G/GC   record Ohio mile
H/GC   record Ohio mile
E/FSS  record Ohio mile C/GC TRYING