Author Topic: Stupid joke FRIDAY  (Read 2160196 times)

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Offline Elmo Rodge

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1020 on: July 20, 2012, 09:42:44 PM »
I want to visit Australia more all the time.  8-) Wayno

Offline grumm441

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1021 on: July 20, 2012, 10:49:14 PM »
that map is missing the bit in the middle were the baby eating dingoes are
G
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Offline rgn

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1022 on: July 20, 2012, 10:50:51 PM »
I want to visit Australia more all the time.  8-) Wayno

An apt comment on page '69' of the thread...  :cheers:

Offline rgn

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1023 on: July 20, 2012, 10:53:21 PM »
We are still talking about Tassie aren't we...lol    :-D


Edit:  OMG... that's post 69 for me as well   :cheers:
« Last Edit: July 21, 2012, 12:10:23 AM by rgn »

Offline Milwaukee Midget

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1024 on: July 20, 2012, 11:13:22 PM »
I want to visit Australia more all the time.  8-) Wayno

An apt comment on page '69' of the thread...  :cheers:

An excellent adventure, this page.
"Problems are almost always a sign of progress."  Harold Bettes
Well, I guess we're making a LOT of progress . . .  :roll:

Offline Jon

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1025 on: July 21, 2012, 02:28:47 AM »
I want to visit Australia more all the time.  8-) Wayno

I'm pretty sure you'd enjoy going "down under" Wayno.
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Offline jacksoni

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1026 on: July 21, 2012, 07:33:09 AM »
Along that line- You know what an "Australian Kiss" is don't you?



Like a "French Kiss" but way down under. :-)
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Offline rgn

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1027 on: July 21, 2012, 07:58:12 AM »
What's an Australians idea of foreplay?

Honey, are you awake?



Offline Dean Los Angeles

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1028 on: July 22, 2012, 11:55:35 AM »
Quote
Chris, Mrs Floydjer is verticly challenged...5 feet even.  Or as I like to say..." Five feet nothing"   have to go....Feeling a little .......sleepy

Hey! You watch yourself! I'm 4 foot 23 inches and don't care for anybody making short jokes!!!
Well, it used to be Los Angeles . . . 50 miles north of Fresno now.
Just remember . . . It isn't life or death.
It's bigger than life or death! It's RACING.

Offline rgn

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1029 on: July 26, 2012, 07:22:57 PM »
Hey! You watch yourself! I'm 4 foot 23 inches and don't care for anybody making short jokes!!!


Here is a very short joke:

Dwarf shortage!

Offline USFRAMONTE

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1030 on: July 27, 2012, 01:59:10 PM »
Do you know why sun tanning will never become an Olympic sport?
The best one can hope for is bronze.

Offline DSR88

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1031 on: July 27, 2012, 03:00:08 PM »
His name was Bubba,He was from Mississippi... and he needed a loan,So...he walked in to a bankin New York city and asked for the loan officer. He told the loan officer that he was going to Parris for a Redneck festival for two weeks and needed to barrow $5000.00 and that he was not a depositor of the bank. The bank officer told him that the bank would need some form of security for the loan,So the redneck handed over the keys to his new Ferrari,the car is parked on the street in from of the bank.The red neck produced the title and everything checked out. The loan officer agreeded to hold the car as collateral for the loan and apologized for having to charge 12% interest. Later the banks president and it's officers all enjoyed a good laugh at the redneck from the south for usinga $250,000.00 Ferrari as collateral for a $5000.00 loan. An employee of the bank drove the Farrari into the banks private underground garage and parked it.
Two weeks later the redneck returned repaied the loan and the interist of $23.07 . The loan officer said ,Sir we are little puzzled, while you were gone we checked you out on Dunn & Bradstreet and found out that you are a distinguished Alumni from Old Miss University , a highly sophisticated investor and a Muliti-Millionaire what puzzles us is why would you barrow $5000.00.
The good 'ole boy replied "Where in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $23.07 and expect it to be there when I return!!!!!!!!
His name was Bubba, :cheers:

Offline Dean Los Angeles

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1032 on: July 27, 2012, 04:20:10 PM »
The Indian chief was talking to his son.

It is true, your older brother Running Bear was named on the morning he was born when the elders saw a running bear.

Your older sister was named Falling Water when it rained the morning she was born.

Why do you ask Two Dogs F*^%king?
Well, it used to be Los Angeles . . . 50 miles north of Fresno now.
Just remember . . . It isn't life or death.
It's bigger than life or death! It's RACING.

Offline Dean Los Angeles

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1033 on: July 27, 2012, 04:24:00 PM »
It was autumn, and the Indians on the remote reservation asked their new Chief if the winter was going to be cold or mild.

Since he was an Indian Chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets, and when he looked at the sky, he couldn't tell what the weather was going to be.

Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he replied to his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect wood to be prepared.

But also being a practical leader, after several days he got an idea. He walked several miles to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, "Is the coming winter going to be cold?"
"It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold indeed," the Meteorologist at the weather service responded.

So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more wood in order to be prepared.

One week later he called the National Weather Service again. "Is it going to be to be a very cold winter?"
"Yes, a very cold winter."

The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of wood they could find.

Two weeks later he called the National Weather Service again. "Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?"

"Absolutely," the man replied. "It looks like it's going to be one of the coldest winters ever."

"How can you be so sure?" the Chief asked.

The weatherman replied, "The same way we verify every year. The Indians are collecting firewood like crazy."
Well, it used to be Los Angeles . . . 50 miles north of Fresno now.
Just remember . . . It isn't life or death.
It's bigger than life or death! It's RACING.

Offline USFRAMONTE

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1034 on: July 27, 2012, 05:03:21 PM »
Loved those last three!