Stupid joke FRIDAY

[floydjer]

Went mushroom hunting yesterday and didn`t find any. So I came back the same way I left, No Morels

[Milwaukee Midget]

Jerry -

Are you sure you didn't come back with some sort of mushrooms?

Michigan morels might mushroom in May, but anything available this time of year would scare the Shiitake out of me.

Okay, I'll button it.

[Dean Los Angeles]

The mushroom concept is how they operate at work.

They keep you in the dark, and feed you s**t.

[Rcktscientist]

A snail hanging around the Salt Flats was always unhappy as he witnessed speed but was so slow. One day he crawled upon a dropped lotto ticket and sure enough, it was a winner. He crawled to the local car dealer with his winnings and spied a nice 300ZX. He said he'd take it but would like a large "S" painted on the sides. The salesman asked don't you mean a Z? The snail replied, No, when I go by people I want them to say "Look at that S Car Go!"

[floydjer]

Jerry -

Are you sure you didn't come back with some sort of mushrooms?

Michigan morels might mushroom in May, but anything available this time of year would scare the Shiitake out of me.

Okay, I'll button it.

Gosh Chris,..Where did all that hostility stem from???

[floydjer]

A bartender was arrested for taking liquor home with him..........He`s been charged with..Emboozlement

[theazoldcrow]

   Bbbaaaarrump !!!!!!   (rim shot)

[fastesthonda_jim]

Okay now for something funny... it IS friday, right?  Even for Professor, er... umm 'scuse me Dr. Goggles?

Okay here goes:

One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along
the road-side eating grass.

Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and got out to investigate.

He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?"

"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat
grass."

"Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you," the lawyer
said.

"But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under
that tree."

"Bring them along," the lawyer replied.

Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You may come with us, also."
The second man, in a pitiful voice, then said, "But sir, I also have a wife
and SIX children with me!"

"Bring them all as well," the lawyer answered.

They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as
the limousine was.

Once under way, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, "Sir,
you are too kind."

"Thank you for taking all of us with you.

The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it.
"You'll really love my place. "The grass is almost a foot high.




Hey, whadya' think?  Pretty good huh?

[floydjer]

  Bbbaaaarrump !!!!!!   (rim shot)

T.O.C.....www.instantrimshot.com

[theazoldcrow]

  Thanks floydjer, my drum was outa tune enywho! lol

[jacksoni]

Subject: A Christmas Story



An elderly couple had been Christmas shopping at the mall for most of the afternoon, when suddenly, the wife realized that her husband was not with her.

Somewhat irate, she called her mate’s cell phone: “Where the hell are you?”

Husband: “Darling, do you remember that jewelry shop where you saw the diamond necklace and totally fell in love with it and I didn't have money that time and said, ‘Baby it'll be yours one day’?”.
                                                                                                                                                                                             
Wife, with a smile and a tear in her eye: “Yes, I remember that, my Love”.

Husband: “I'm in the bar next to that shop.”

[floydjer]

A murder victim was found under a pile of  hand painted figurines in a Japanese rice paddy. Police have no suspects in the Knick-Knack Paddy whack.............................

[Milwaukee Midget]

A murder victim was found under a pile of  hand painted figurines in a Japanese rice paddy. Police have no suspects in the Knick-Knack Paddy whack.............................

In a similar development, Polish officials found a former Olympic ski jumper shot to death under a large pile of Hummels.  There are no leads in the chotchkie shotski murder.

[floydjer]

What do you get when you cross a bullet with a tree that has no leaves ??...A cartridge in a bare tree..........

[Milwaukee Midget]

What do you get when you cross a bullet with a tree that has no leaves ??...A cartridge in a bare tree..........

I asked Jerry about that spool of cat5 that runs to the top of his tree - He says it's for calling birds . . .