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Author Topic: Stupid joke FRIDAY  (Read 2167093 times)

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HotRodV8

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #255 on: December 11, 2009, 12:04:26 AM »
TGIF

What is Tiger Wood's favorite Christmas song?




I'm dreaming of a white mistress.
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Offline stratman59

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #256 on: December 11, 2009, 06:36:25 AM »
I have a friend who's a pilot on a 747 I said

Hi Jack

He shot me
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Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #257 on: December 11, 2009, 08:30:34 AM »
Two cows are standing in a field. One cow looks toward the sky and says " Moo" The other cow says"  Dodge ,I was just going to say that " :cheers:
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Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #258 on: December 11, 2009, 08:33:32 AM »
Quote from: HotRodV8 on December 11, 2009, 12:04:26 AM
TGIF

What is Tiger Wood's favorite Christmas song?




I'm dreaming of a white mistress.
That was racist,tacky,sophomoric, rude, un-p.c. and un-called for.......Keep up the good work :evil:   Jerry
« Last Edit: December 11, 2009, 09:50:30 AM by floydjer »
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HotRodV8

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #259 on: December 11, 2009, 09:49:11 AM »
A ten year old boy and a 10 year old girl were playing in a park somewhere in West Wendover.

It seems the boy noticed that the girl could do most of the climbing and swinging he could.

A bit frustrated, he told her boys were better than girls. And of course she said no they weren't.

The boy pulled a ball of string out of his pocket and said "I bet you don't have one of these." She pulled out a larger ball of string with many colors.

He then took out 87 cents and said "I bet you don't have this much." She took out a dollar and 50 cents.

Quickly, he pulled out a green frog and said "I bet you don't have one of these." Slowly, she pulled out a larger green frog with bright red spots.

Not to be out done, he said OK, he pulled his shorts down and said "I bet you don't have one of these." The girl hesitated and then pulled down her shorts and looked down. She said "You are right I don't have one of those, but with one of these I can get as many of THOSE as I want."
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Offline relaxedfit

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #260 on: December 11, 2009, 03:11:49 PM »
Phillips Screwdriver:

Milk of magnesia and vodka
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Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #261 on: December 11, 2009, 03:31:12 PM »
Metric screwdriver...........100ml. vodka-300ml. O.J. :cheers:
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Offline bbarn

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #262 on: December 11, 2009, 04:15:18 PM »
A woman is shopping in the local supermarket. She selects some milk, some eggs, a carton of juice, and a package of bacon.

As she unloads her items at the cash register to pay, a man standing behind her in line watches her place the four items on the belt and states with assurance, "You must be single."

The woman looks at the four items on the belt, and seeing nothing unusual about her selection says, "That's right. How on Earth did you know?"

He replies, "Because you're ugly."
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Offline will6er

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #263 on: December 11, 2009, 11:14:42 PM »
Pile Driver

Vodka and Prune Juice

Will
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Offline stratman59

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #264 on: December 18, 2009, 07:15:02 AM »
Q: Why do hummingbirds hum?
A: Because they don't know the words.

Q: Where does a blackbird go for a drink?
A: To a crow bar.

Q: Why was the crow perched on a telephone wire?
A: He was going to make a long-distance caw.

Q: What did the chick say when it saw an orange in the nest?
A: Look at the orange mama laid.

Q: Is it good manners to eat fried chicken with your fingers?
A: No, you should eat your fingers separately.

Q: Why do hens lay eggs?
A: If they dropped them, they'd break.

Q: Why do seagulls live near the sea?
A: Because if they lived near the bay, they would be called bagels.

Q: Diner: Do you serve chicken here?
A: Waiter: Sit down, sir. We serve anyone.
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Offline Cajun Kid

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #265 on: December 18, 2009, 08:06:13 AM »
Robbie,, 7:15am Posts ?  You have to much free time on your hands,,, come on up here and help me work on my car !!!!

Have a good weekend,,, we are prepping for the "massive snow storm today/tomorrow"  yeah right !!

Charles
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Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #266 on: December 18, 2009, 08:16:25 AM »
Why did the woman cross the road?.....Better question,....What`s she doing out of the kitchen?
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Offline SPARKY

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #267 on: December 18, 2009, 09:12:57 AM »
after reading some of these jokes  If I were some of you guys---I wouldn't worry about if your wife caught porn  :-o on your computer it think the greater danger would be some of the jokes you are posting----lol--- me looking over my shoulder :-D
« Last Edit: December 18, 2009, 11:08:13 AM by SPARKY »
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Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #268 on: December 18, 2009, 01:01:46 PM »
Why did the one-handed man cross the road? To get to the second hand store :cheers:
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Offline stratman59

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #269 on: December 24, 2009, 02:49:30 PM »
 "Daddy," a little boy asked his father. "How much does it cost to get married?"

"I don't know, son. I'm still paying for it."   :cheers:
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