Stupid joke FRIDAY

[Robin UK]

For all those of you who are avidly following news about the on-going crisis with the Euro -  - , I thought you'd appreciate this very clear graphical explanation. As you'll see, even though we Brits were sensible enough to stick with the jolly old pound and avoid the car crash that is the single currency, it affects us a well. I'm guessing that a little of the guano has made it over the pond as well 

Robin

[relaxedphit]

I would have understood economics much better if the teachers had used "flow" charts more like that one. The nearest thing I was told was by a site manager on a new project. "Sweetheart, there ain't but two things you need to know about construction - money talks and s*** goes downhill."

[TwinSpin]

There are three kinds of people in this world. Those who know how to count and those who don't know how to count.

[Jon]

There are 10 types of people in the world, those that understand binary and those that don't.


If you get this your a nerd although you will most likely deny it; sorry.
jon

[rgn]

A man entered a local newspapers pun contest.

He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately… no pun in ten did.

[USFRAMONTE]

That was more like two thirds of a pun.......PU.

[rgn]

I thought it was funny

A man calls emergency:
- Come immediately, my young son has swallowed a condom!

Two minutes later, the same man calls back:
- It is OK, I found another one.

[USFRAMONTE]

I was just trying to be funny, not rude.

[rgn]

I know that! 

[USFRAMONTE]

Even though it is not Friday.....

If your plan is to have a fifth on the forth, you might not be able to fourth on the fifth!!

[USFRAMONTE]

Ugh!  I think I said that bass akwards.

If you plan to have a fifth on the fourth, you may not be able to go forth on the fifth!

I had to change it before SSS corrected me.

[Dakzila]

Ok so it's not Friday...I'm off and it seems like Friday...

Conversation in Heaven.......

SYLVIA:
Hi! Wanda.

WANDA:
Hi! Sylvia.
How'd you die?

SYLVIA:
I froze to death.

WANDA:
How horrible!

SYLVIA:
It wasn't so bad.
After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death.
What about you?

WANDA:
I died of a massive heart attack.
I suspected that my husband was cheating,
so I came home early to catch him in the act.
But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watch ing TV.

SYLVIA:
So, what happened?

WANDA:
I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking.
I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement.
Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds.
I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.

SYLVIA:
Too bad you didn't look in the freezer ---we'd both still be alive.

[floydjer]

Since today is friday..............................   There was a tap on my door this morning. I think my plumber has an odd sense of humor .

[manta22]

Since today is friday..............................   There was a tap on my door this morning. I think my plumber has an odd sense of humor .

Maybe it wasn't your plumber, maybe it was Edgar Allen Poe: "As I nodded nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping; tap, tap, tapping at my chamber door..." 

Regards, Neil  Tucson, AZ

[rgn]

What's  the difference between an Australian zoo and an English  zoo?

An Australian zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage, along with a recipe.