(Note: LANDRACING.COM donations are not tax deductible)


This is a public forum. The opinions expressed here don't
necessarily reflect the feelings of The Folks That Run The Site (that's us)
unless we explicitly say so, ok?


Author Topic: Stupid joke Friday  (Read 1197995 times)

0 Members and 3 Guests are viewing this topic.

Offline Seldom Seen Slim

  • Nancy and me and the pit bike
  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 12661
  • Age: 72
  • Location: Skandia, Michigan
  • Nancy -- 201.913 mph record on a production ZX15!
    • Nancy and Jon's personal website.
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #4170 on: March 20, 2020, 08:39:55 AM »
Jim said:  "On the bright side I did get a beautiful necklace."

By any chance was it a pearl necklace? lol8 lol8
Jon E. Wennerberg
 a/k/a Seldom Seen Slim
 Skandia, Michigan
 (that's way up north)
2 Club member x2
Owner of landracing.com

Offline floydjer

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3316
  • Age: 62
  • Location: grand rapids, michigan
  • "There is no duck side of the moon..."
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #4171 on: March 20, 2020, 08:58:26 AM »
What did Santa give Mrs. Claus for her b-day? A pearl necklace since she is a ho..ho ho
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3316
  • Age: 62
  • Location: grand rapids, michigan
  • "There is no duck side of the moon..."
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #4172 on: March 20, 2020, 09:02:55 AM »
Of course, If Santa were a rabbit he would have given her 14 carrot  earrings..
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3316
  • Age: 62
  • Location: grand rapids, michigan
  • "There is no duck side of the moon..."
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #4173 on: March 20, 2020, 09:10:10 AM »
Jewelry store robbers are bad...but bakery thieves take the cake..
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3316
  • Age: 62
  • Location: grand rapids, michigan
  • "There is no duck side of the moon..."
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #4174 on: March 20, 2020, 09:12:37 AM »
This woman drops her jewelry into the gorilla pit at the zoo...She lowers her 5 year old  down to retrieve them. He  did not get the gold, but he did get the silverback...
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3316
  • Age: 62
  • Location: grand rapids, michigan
  • "There is no duck side of the moon..."
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #4175 on: March 20, 2020, 09:15:47 AM »
One more and I'll stop ( thank me later) What type of jewelry does a person with tinnitus wear ?? Earrings.. :clap :clap :clap cromag :clap
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3316
  • Age: 62
  • Location: grand rapids, michigan
  • "There is no duck side of the moon..."
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #4176 on: March 20, 2020, 09:20:44 AM »
Which reminds me of the pirate standing in a pile of gold and gems halfway up his legs.  Booty was only shin deep. :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline fastesthonda_jim

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 541
  • Ready to Rock 2003
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #4177 on: March 20, 2020, 12:59:16 PM »
Well, Slim he did have a VERY long beard.
2006 SCTA High Points Champeen
2006 Dirty "2" Wrench Of The Year
Bonneville "2" Club 2003
El Mirage Dirty "2"'s 2006
Bonneville Records: G/GS, F/GS (Boy)  G/FS (Girl)
El Mirage Records: F/BFS, F/FS, F/GS, I/FS, I/GS, K/BGS
FIA Records A, II, 8
Unlimited License
300mph line qualified (305.129 best mile speed)
The older half of San Diego's Fastest Couple
2016 Man of Distinction Award
DLRA 2019 Top Speed of The Meet (309.438 Mile - 323.3 GPS)

Offline floydjer

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3316
  • Age: 62
  • Location: grand rapids, michigan
  • "There is no duck side of the moon..."
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #4178 on: March 20, 2020, 01:48:43 PM »
My poor, sweet, innocent thread.. :? I tried shaving with a Bic once...Got ink everywhere.
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3316
  • Age: 62
  • Location: grand rapids, michigan
  • "There is no duck side of the moon..."
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #4179 on: March 27, 2020, 07:15:19 AM »
My first job was bagging groceries at the local market..One day I saw a new machine being installed in the produce dept...It was a juice squeezer..I inquired as to the possibility of being  allowed to operate the device and was told that baggers cannot be juicers... cromag :clap
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3316
  • Age: 62
  • Location: grand rapids, michigan
  • "There is no duck side of the moon..."
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #4180 on: March 27, 2020, 07:45:49 AM »
...My second job was delivery van driver for a dry cleaner...Got fired after stopping at a convent and asking if  the nuns  had any dirty habits.  :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3316
  • Age: 62
  • Location: grand rapids, michigan
  • "There is no duck side of the moon..."
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #4181 on: April 03, 2020, 07:03:48 AM »
Just looked outside and it is raining monkeys ! Must be Ape-ril showers....
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3316
  • Age: 62
  • Location: grand rapids, michigan
  • "There is no duck side of the moon..."
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #4182 on: April 03, 2020, 08:44:07 PM »
I just received an e mail titled "knock-knock"..When I opened it,  I found it was from a Jehovah's Witness working from home....
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3316
  • Age: 62
  • Location: grand rapids, michigan
  • "There is no duck side of the moon..."
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #4183 on: April 10, 2020, 06:13:47 AM »
Easter bunny got his head caught in a fan...took ears off his life...
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3316
  • Age: 62
  • Location: grand rapids, michigan
  • "There is no duck side of the moon..."
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #4184 on: April 10, 2020, 06:14:53 AM »
......he still went to college..At  Johns Hop-kins....
« Last Edit: April 10, 2020, 07:47:19 AM by floydjer »
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.