(Note: LANDRACING.COM donations are not tax deductible)


This is a public forum. The opinions expressed here don't
necessarily reflect the feelings of The Folks That Run The Site (that's us)
unless we explicitly say so, ok?


Author Topic: Stupid joke Friday  (Read 1151402 times)

0 Members and 2 Guests are viewing this topic.

Offline fastesthonda_jim

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 538
  • Ready to Rock 2003
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #4155 on: March 13, 2020, 09:29:29 AM »
speaking of jokes from the distant past try this (sung to the tune of "Bring Back My Bonnie To Me To Me"

My Bonnie leaned over the gas tank
The height of its contents to see.
I lighted a match to assist her,
Please bring back my Bonnie to me
2006 SCTA High Points Champeen
2006 Dirty "2" Wrench Of The Year
Bonneville "2" Club 2003
El Mirage Dirty "2"'s 2006
Bonneville Records: G/GS, F/GS (Boy)  G/FS (Girl)
El Mirage Records: F/BFS, F/FS, F/GS, I/FS, I/GS, K/BGS
FIA Records A, II, 8
Unlimited License
300mph line qualified (305.129 best mile speed)
The older half of San Diego's Fastest Couple
2016 Man of Distinction Award
DLRA 2019 Top Speed of The Meet

Offline floydjer

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3208
  • Age: 62
  • Location: grand rapids, michigan
  • "There is no duck side of the moon..."
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #4156 on: March 13, 2020, 11:10:45 AM »
My Bonnie has tuberculosis..My Bonnie has only one lung..My Bonnie can cough up raw oysters..And roll them around on her tongue.. :clap :clap
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Seldom Seen Slim

  • Nancy and me and the pit bike
  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 12585
  • Age: 72
  • Location: Skandia, Michigan
  • Nancy -- 201.913 mph record on a production ZX15!
    • Nancy and Jon's personal website.
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #4157 on: March 13, 2020, 11:31:12 AM »
Gold and silver wall into a bar in the  Copper Country   ..Bartender yells "'eh you..get outta here" So gold left.
Jon E. Wennerberg
 a/k/a Seldom Seen Slim
 Skandia, Michigan
 (that's way up north)
2 Club member x2
Owner of landracing.com

Offline manta22

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3592
  • Age: 81
  • Location: Tucson, AZ
  • What, me worry?
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #4158 on: March 13, 2020, 11:41:11 AM »
Au.................... arghhh
Regards, Neil  Tucson, AZ

Offline floydjer

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3208
  • Age: 62
  • Location: grand rapids, michigan
  • "There is no duck side of the moon..."
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #4159 on: March 13, 2020, 11:53:18 AM »
Slim.....You sure that was not in Leadville..?
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3208
  • Age: 62
  • Location: grand rapids, michigan
  • "There is no duck side of the moon..."
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #4160 on: March 13, 2020, 12:00:51 PM »
Sure Neil...If that were about a pair of helium atoms you would have said " he-he"
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline 4-barrel Mike

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3062
  • Age: 72
  • Location: Portland, OR
  • Any fool can drive a V8
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #4161 on: March 13, 2020, 02:18:00 PM »
Personally, I prefer holmium.   :cheers:

Mike
Mike Kelly - PROUD owner of the V4F that powered the #1931 VGC to a 82.803 mph record in 2008!

Offline floydjer

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3208
  • Age: 62
  • Location: grand rapids, michigan
  • "There is no duck side of the moon..."
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #4162 on: March 13, 2020, 02:38:06 PM »
Get back on tract Mike.. :cheers: :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline 4-barrel Mike

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3062
  • Age: 72
  • Location: Portland, OR
  • Any fool can drive a V8
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #4163 on: March 13, 2020, 03:43:25 PM »
Get back on tract Mike.. :cheers: :cheers:

Huh?

Quote
tract
[trakt]

NOUN
an area of indefinite extent, typically a large one.

ho-ho  :cheers:

Mike

(hint: atomic number 67)
« Last Edit: March 13, 2020, 03:47:39 PM by 4-barrel Mike »
Mike Kelly - PROUD owner of the V4F that powered the #1931 VGC to a 82.803 mph record in 2008!

Offline floydjer

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3208
  • Age: 62
  • Location: grand rapids, michigan
  • "There is no duck side of the moon..."
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #4164 on: March 13, 2020, 03:56:06 PM »
Sigh..holmium is used in treatment of the urinary TRACT.
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline 4-barrel Mike

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3062
  • Age: 72
  • Location: Portland, OR
  • Any fool can drive a V8
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #4165 on: March 13, 2020, 04:19:00 PM »
Jaye Morgan, Arte Johnson, and Rex Reed simultaneously strike the gong.    muutt

Mike
Mike Kelly - PROUD owner of the V4F that powered the #1931 VGC to a 82.803 mph record in 2008!

Offline floydjer

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3208
  • Age: 62
  • Location: grand rapids, michigan
  • "There is no duck side of the moon..."
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #4166 on: March 13, 2020, 04:43:41 PM »
A triple gonging..This may be my proudest moment. :clap
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3208
  • Age: 62
  • Location: grand rapids, michigan
  • "There is no duck side of the moon..."
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #4167 on: March 20, 2020, 07:57:52 AM »
Got mugged by six dwarves..Not Happy..
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3208
  • Age: 62
  • Location: grand rapids, michigan
  • "There is no duck side of the moon..."
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #4168 on: March 20, 2020, 07:59:32 AM »
Correction..five dwarves..Sneezy is in quarantine  :cheers: :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline fastesthonda_jim

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 538
  • Ready to Rock 2003
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #4169 on: March 20, 2020, 08:17:09 AM »
Flew back into LAX the other day. 
This burly TSA guard who, let's just say, appeared to be a "little light in the loafers", insisted I have a full body cavity search!
Did NOT enjoy the experience. 
On the bright side I did get a beautiful necklace.
2006 SCTA High Points Champeen
2006 Dirty "2" Wrench Of The Year
Bonneville "2" Club 2003
El Mirage Dirty "2"'s 2006
Bonneville Records: G/GS, F/GS (Boy)  G/FS (Girl)
El Mirage Records: F/BFS, F/FS, F/GS, I/FS, I/GS, K/BGS
FIA Records A, II, 8
Unlimited License
300mph line qualified (305.129 best mile speed)
The older half of San Diego's Fastest Couple
2016 Man of Distinction Award
DLRA 2019 Top Speed of The Meet