Author Topic: Stupid joke Friday  (Read 923755 times)

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Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3990 on: April 26, 2019, 08:03:39 AM »
What is a cow`s favorite holiday???  Moo morial day...…...
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3991 on: April 26, 2019, 08:09:03 AM »
What was the most popular dance in 1776??  The Independ-dance :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline fastesthonda_jim

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3992 on: April 26, 2019, 08:47:21 AM »
Oh man what a relief!
I thot youse guys was dead.
I finally occurred to me that you work 51 Stupid Fridays/year and all y'all need some rest.
So you take Good Friday off.
Makes sense to me.
I've marked my calendar for next year.
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Offline Seldom Seen Slim

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3993 on: April 26, 2019, 09:00:45 AM »
Did you hear about the chemist that was also a mortician?  His favorite element was Barium.
Jon E. Wennerberg
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Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3994 on: April 26, 2019, 09:27:52 AM »
Hmmm...I took my grandmother to one of those day spas where the little fish eat your dead skin for $45.....Way cheaper than a funeral...…………………………………..
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3995 on: April 26, 2019, 09:35:18 AM »
I went to my Uncle Wendel`s funeral....My Aunt told me that he was fine until he started spreading lard on his back ...He went downhill fast after that...( You started it Slim) :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3996 on: April 26, 2019, 09:39:04 AM »
Just heard that the guy that invented Auto-correct has passed.....Eye hope he wrests in piece...………..
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3997 on: May 03, 2019, 06:09:01 AM »
My mother always said that I would never amount to anything due to my constant procrastination...I told her.." You just wait ….."
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3998 on: May 03, 2019, 06:11:23 AM »
I have a new pet spider......He spends a lot of time on the web...…………………….
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3999 on: May 03, 2019, 06:12:47 AM »
Why was the cookie crying???  His mom was a wafer so long...………………….
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #4000 on: May 03, 2019, 06:13:44 AM »
What do you call a very short mother??...Minimum... :cheers:
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Offline Stainless1

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #4001 on: May 03, 2019, 09:09:47 AM »
Been saving up Jerry?

Bernie Sanders walks into a bar announcing "free drinks for everyone"

then looks over the crowd and adds "Who's buying"
 :cheers:
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Offline WOODY@DDLLC

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #4002 on: May 03, 2019, 11:46:11 AM »
Been saving up Jerry?

Bernie Sanders walks into a bar announcing "free drinks for everyone"

then looks over the crowd and adds "Who's buying"
 :cheers:
Now that there's funny [in a tragic sort of way]!  :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D
All models are wrong, but some are useful! G.E. Box (1967) www.designdreams.biz

Offline fastesthonda_jim

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #4003 on: May 03, 2019, 12:29:10 PM »
Speaking of B.S. (Bernie Saunders) I got a new pair of gloves today, from his "Gloves for all" program.  And wouldn't you know it?  They're both 'lefts' which, on the one hand, is great, but on the other, it's just not right.
2006 SCTA High Points Champeen
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Bonneville Records: G/GS, F/GS (Boy)  G/FS (Girl)
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Offline fastesthonda_jim

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #4004 on: May 03, 2019, 12:31:49 PM »
And a burning question for Doctor Seldom:
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?
2006 SCTA High Points Champeen
2006 Dirty "2" Wrench Of The Year
Bonneville "2" Club 2003
El Mirage Dirty "2"'s 2006
Bonneville Records: G/GS, F/GS (Boy)  G/FS (Girl)
El Mirage Records: F/BFS, F/FS, F/GS, I/FS, I/GS, K/BGS
FIA Records A, II, 8
Unlimited License
300mph line qualified (305.129 best mile speed)
The older half of San Diego's Fastest Couple
2016 Man of Distinction Award
DLRA 2019 Top Speed of The Meet