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Author Topic: Stupid joke Friday  (Read 849290 times)
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floydjer
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"There is no duck side of the moon..."




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« Reply #3915 on: February 22, 2019, 07:10:41 AM »

A friend applied for a personalized lic plate that says " BAA BAA"....She thinks it will look cool on her black Jeep...………..
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floydjer
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"There is no duck side of the moon..."




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« Reply #3916 on: February 22, 2019, 07:15:55 AM »

Slice of apple pie in Jamaica is $4..In Aruba it`s $3.50 and only $2.75 in Aruba. Those are the pie rates of the Caribbean...………….. cheers
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floydjer
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"There is no duck side of the moon..."




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« Reply #3917 on: March 01, 2019, 08:53:23 AM »

A bird broke in to my garage...I think he used a crow bar...……..
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floydjer
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« Reply #3918 on: March 01, 2019, 08:54:18 AM »

...I didn`t get a good look at him...He was in da skies...………..
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floydjer
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« Reply #3919 on: March 01, 2019, 08:57:41 AM »

...But it may have been a goose...It was speaking Portu-geese..... cheers
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Stainless1
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« Reply #3920 on: March 01, 2019, 10:12:31 AM »

Sounds like a fly by night outfit to me.... Owl look into it for you
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Stainless
Red Hat 228.039, 2001, 65ci, MSA Bockscar Lakester with a little N20 
MSA Bockscar Lakester #1000 my fastest mile 245 and change, 84 ci turbobusa motor... but Corey's 233 MPH H/BFL record is still 3MPH faster than mine.
floydjer
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« Reply #3921 on: March 01, 2019, 10:23:31 AM »

That`s you and I Bob...Birds of a feather...…………….I heard that a pelican went to a diner for lunch and walked out with a huge bill...……………...
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floydjer
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« Reply #3922 on: March 01, 2019, 10:26:28 AM »

It IS Fly-day...I know, That was hawkward……………….. cheers
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WOODY@DDLLC
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« Reply #3923 on: March 01, 2019, 03:53:33 PM »

Met a loon on a lark - claimed he had no egrets!  tongue
What do you call a wild goose? Two inches off-center!  shocked grin Dead Horse
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All models are wrong, but some are useful! G.E. Box (1967) www.designdreams.biz
floydjer
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« Reply #3924 on: March 08, 2019, 08:58:32 AM »

Woody.... shocked.....Patti had to fly to Atlanta for a meeting...Plane rolled onto the runway and stopped...About an hour passed and finally the plane took off. Patti asked the attendant what the delay was for and she said " The pilot heard a weird noise from one of the engines and was afraid to take off with it So we had to find a different pilot "
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floydjer
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« Reply #3925 on: March 08, 2019, 09:00:46 AM »

Not a joke.. BUT..We did have an airplane land on the road a couple miles west of us last night...Engine issue during flight instruction. Odd sight.
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jimmy six
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« Reply #3926 on: March 08, 2019, 03:04:48 PM »

At dawn the telephone rings, "Hello, Senor? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house."
"Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"
"Umm, I am just calling to advise you, Senor, that your green and purple parrot, he is dead".
"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?"
"Si, Senor, that's the one."
"Dodge! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?"
"From eating the rotten meat, Senor."
"Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?"
"Nobody, Senor. He ate the meat of the dead horse. "
"Dead horse? What dead horse?"
"The thoroughbred, Senor."
"My prize thoroughbred is dead?"
"Yes, Senor, he died from all that work pulling the water cart."
"Are you insane? What water cart?"
"The one we used to put out the fire, Senor."
"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"
"The one at your house, Senor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire."
"What the hell? Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a candle?!"
"Yes, Senor."
"But there's electricity at the house! What was the candle for?"
"For the funeral, Senor."
"WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL??!!"
"Your wife's, Senor". She showed up very late one night and I thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new Ping G15 204g titanium head golf club with the TFC 149D graphite shaft."

SILENCE.......... LONG SILENCE.........VERY LONG SILENCE.
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"Ernesto, if you broke my new driver, you're in deep, deep trouble."

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Seldom Seen Slim
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« Reply #3927 on: March 08, 2019, 04:01:53 PM »

Dang, J6 - you know how to work a joke! cheers
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Jon E. Wennerberg
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WOODY@DDLLC
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« Reply #3928 on: March 08, 2019, 06:36:48 PM »

Sounds like this guy:

A man and his wife walked into a dentist's office.  The man said to the dentist, "Doc, I'm in one heck of a hurry I have two buddies sitting out in my car waiting for us to go play golf, so forget about the anesthetic, I don't have time for the gums to get numb.

I just want you to pull the tooth and be done with it!   We have a 10:00 AM tee time at the best golf course in town and it's 9:30 already.  I don't have time to wait for the anesthetic to work!"

The dentist thought to himself, "My goodness, this is surely a very brave man asking to have his tooth pulled without using anything to kill the pain."  So the dentist asks him, "Which tooth is it sir?"

The man turned to his wife and said, "Open your mouth Honey, and show him."
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All models are wrong, but some are useful! G.E. Box (1967) www.designdreams.biz
floydjer
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« Reply #3929 on: March 15, 2019, 08:51:32 AM »

What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4 leaf clover???  A rash of good luck...
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I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.
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