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Author Topic: Stupid joke Friday  (Read 1121405 times)

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Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3780 on: November 16, 2018, 12:02:28 PM »
Guy walks into a bar and the bartender asks what he`d like...Guy says " Surprise me "...So the bartender hands him naked pictures of his wife...……... :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3781 on: November 16, 2018, 12:29:11 PM »
An Anthropology major walks into a bar....Puts on apron and starts waiting tables as 4 years of college have given him no marketable skills...……... :cheers: :cheers: :cheers:  ( Patti`s cousin has an Anthropology Doctorate)
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Milwaukee Midget

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3782 on: November 16, 2018, 03:26:32 PM »
Called the dentist's office today to set an appointment.  The receptionist started rattling off this laundry list of crap - "Don't forget your insurance card, parking is on the east side of the building, please be here 15 minutes early to fill out the paperwork".

I told her, "I know the drill".
"Problems are almost always a sign of progress."  Harold Bettes
Well, I guess we're making a LOT of progress . . .  :roll:

We are NOT rebuilding . . . We are reloading.

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Offline Stainless1

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3783 on: November 16, 2018, 03:30:43 PM »
An Anthropology major walks into a bar....Puts on apron and starts waiting tables as 4 years of college have given him no marketable skills...……... :cheers: :cheers: :cheers:  ( Patti`s cousin has an Anthropology Doctorate)

So with all the schooling does he/she know anything about ants.... like how to get rid of them
Stainless
Red Hat 228.039, 2001, 65ci, MSA Bockscar Lakester with a little N20 
MSA Bockscar Lakester #1000 my fastest mile 245 and change, 84 ci turbobusa motor... but Corey's 233 MPH H/BFL record is still 3MPH faster than mine.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3784 on: November 23, 2018, 08:27:40 AM »
No Bob....He only knows how to apologize for his uncle`s wife breaking your window with a bad pitch...…(  aunt-throw-pology…)
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3785 on: November 23, 2018, 08:28:51 AM »
How does a fish always know it`s own weight ??  It has it`s own scales...……. :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3786 on: November 23, 2018, 08:36:24 AM »
What do you call a fish with two knees ???...A Tunee fish
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3787 on: November 30, 2018, 08:32:35 AM »
Hmmmm….On my own again eh ?....I bought a dry erase board for the shop...Those things are remarkable...…………………..
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3788 on: November 30, 2018, 08:37:49 AM »
What sound does a nut make when it sneezes ???...Cashew...………... :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3789 on: November 30, 2018, 08:43:53 AM »
This highly intoxicated 3 foot tall guy stumbles into a bar, Falls on the floor and asks for a beer....Bartender says " You need to leave...I can see you`re a little drunk...."
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3790 on: November 30, 2018, 08:54:44 AM »
Kid down the street built a snowman in the yard and is now looking  through a bag of carrots......I guess he`s picking his nose...………………..
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline WOODY@DDLLC

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3791 on: November 30, 2018, 08:59:01 AM »
Jer, be careful, he may need that for the two lumps of coal!  :-o :-D
All models are wrong, but some are useful! G.E. Box (1967) www.designdreams.biz

Offline Stainless1

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3792 on: November 30, 2018, 09:17:48 AM »
One of my friends is getting a divorce... He says she has changed... and just hasn't been the same since the house fell on her sister  :-o
Stainless
Red Hat 228.039, 2001, 65ci, MSA Bockscar Lakester with a little N20 
MSA Bockscar Lakester #1000 my fastest mile 245 and change, 84 ci turbobusa motor... but Corey's 233 MPH H/BFL record is still 3MPH faster than mine.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3793 on: November 30, 2018, 09:44:13 AM »
There are two sides to every divorce....Your`s and  Sh*t-Head`s
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline tauruck

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3794 on: November 30, 2018, 10:00:19 AM »
Yep.