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Author Topic: Stupid joke Friday  (Read 969968 times)

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Offline WOODY@DDLLC

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3750 on: September 28, 2018, 09:47:08 AM »
I watched a segment on the local news regarding self driving vehicles and it made me wonder.....How long until we hear a country song about a guy`s truck leaving him too???
Not until his momma goes to prison!  :x :-D :cheers:
All models are wrong, but some are useful! G.E. Box (1967) www.designdreams.biz

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3751 on: September 28, 2018, 10:06:51 AM »
I was thinking.....If I glue a dead wasp to my palm....I could smack a total stranger in the head and they`d end up thanking me...…………….. :evil:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3752 on: September 28, 2018, 10:26:44 AM »
I won $2 million on  a lottery ticket.....Patti insisted I donate a quarter of it to charity....So now I have $1,999,999.75...……………………. :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline tauruck

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3753 on: October 04, 2018, 06:26:19 PM »
Happy belated birthday Jerry. :cheers: :cheers: :cheers: :cheers: :cheers:

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3754 on: October 05, 2018, 08:22:09 AM »
I think that is Happy After Birth Day Mike...……………...
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3755 on: October 05, 2018, 08:22:59 AM »
A nice , long nap helps you live longer...Shortens the work day too...………..
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3756 on: October 05, 2018, 08:24:19 AM »
Back when I was a single guy...I had a gal dump me because of my OCD...I told her to leave and close the door 5 times on her way out :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3757 on: October 05, 2018, 01:09:42 PM »
Hmmm...On my own today eh?.....I attended the funeral of a friend, Knowing that I am a minister his wife asked if I would speak at the service....I walked up to the lectern and said " Plethora"...As I walked back to my seat his wife held my hand and said " Thank you...That means a lot "...……………………... :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Seldom Seen Slim

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3758 on: October 05, 2018, 02:32:31 PM »
Wonderful, Jerry!
Jon E. Wennerberg
 a/k/a Seldom Seen Slim
 Skandia, Michigan
 (that's way up north)
2 Club member x2
Owner of landracing.com

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3759 on: October 12, 2018, 07:10:26 AM »
Our local T.V provider has an origami porn channel......It`s paper view...…………………………….
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3760 on: October 12, 2018, 07:22:03 AM »
...most people are shocked when they learn how bad I am as an electrician...………...
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3761 on: October 12, 2018, 07:27:14 AM »
***WARNING***   Actual Humor...………………………..My computer has caught the Miley Virus,,,,,It stopped twerking..... :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline 4-barrel Mike

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3762 on: October 12, 2018, 07:52:28 AM »
MEDICAL ALERT!!!

Attention users of the "Little Blue Pill"

MEDICAL ALERT!!!

Reliable news reports this morning say that Russia's leading pharmaceutical manufacturer, based in Moscow and owned by an oligarch pal of Putin, has begun  production of a generic "Little Blue Pill" copy.

Please ensure that the pill you are taking is genuinely U.S. made.

We can't have the Russians messing with our erections!
Mike Kelly - PROUD owner of the V4F that powered the #1931 VGC to a 82.803 mph record in 2008!

Offline WOODY@DDLLC

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3763 on: October 12, 2018, 08:13:10 AM »
When Reagan was POTUS the state department told him that the Russians were having birth control problems.
They wanted to know if the US could make condoms that could handle 10"~14" members.
Reagan thought a moment and said to tell them we could supply as many as they needed.
"Just be sure to mark them medium!"  :-o :cheers:
All models are wrong, but some are useful! G.E. Box (1967) www.designdreams.biz

Offline Stainless1

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3764 on: October 19, 2018, 09:17:11 AM »
Recently I was invited to a friends wedding... invitation required a RSVP

I guess "maybe next time" was not an acceptable answer for his bride
Stainless
Red Hat 228.039, 2001, 65ci, MSA Bockscar Lakester with a little N20 
MSA Bockscar Lakester #1000 my fastest mile 245 and change, 84 ci turbobusa motor... but Corey's 233 MPH H/BFL record is still 3MPH faster than mine.