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Author Topic: Stupid joke Friday  (Read 866393 times)

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Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3420 on: November 24, 2017, 07:36:47 AM »
I have a fear of Santa...Claus trophobia..............Did you know Santa goes to the mall to sit on Chuck Norris lap??
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline WOODY@DDLLC

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3421 on: November 24, 2017, 08:48:43 AM »
No English dictionary has been able to adequately explain the difference between these two words.
In a recent linguistic competition held in London and attended by, supposedly, the best in the world, Samdar Balgobin, a Guyanese man, was the clear winner with a standing ovation which lasted over 5 minutes.

The final question was: 'How do you explain the difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED in a way that is easy to understand?'

Some people say there is no difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED.

Here is his astute answer:

"When you marry the right woman, you are COMPLETE.
When you marry the wrong woman, you are FINISHED.
And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are COMPLETELY FINISHED!"

He won a trip around the world and a case of 25 year old Scotch.
All models are wrong, but some are useful! G.E. Box (1967) www.designdreams.biz

Offline Seldom Seen Slim

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3422 on: November 24, 2017, 04:21:01 PM »
Exemplary effort, Woody!  Thank you very much. :cheers: :cheers:
Jon E. Wennerberg
 a/k/a Seldom Seen Slim
 Skandia, Michigan
 (that's way up north)
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Offline 4-barrel Mike

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3423 on: November 24, 2017, 04:56:27 PM »
Yes, what Jon said.

But...certainly in the wrong thread.   :mrgreen:

Mike
Mike Kelly - PROUD owner of the V4F that powered the #1931 VGC to a 82.803 mph record in 2008!

Online Stainless1

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3424 on: December 01, 2017, 09:26:58 AM »
Back in high school my English teacher told us "Santa's little helpers" was about subordinate clauses....
Stainless
Red Hat 228.039, 2001, 65ci, MSA Bockscar Lakester with a little N20 
MSA Bockscar Lakester #1000 my fastest mile 245 and change, 84 ci turbobusa motor... but Corey's 233 MPH H/BFL record is still 3MPH faster than mine.

Offline salt27

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3425 on: December 01, 2017, 10:46:54 AM »
Back in high school my English teacher told us "Santa's little helpers" was about subordinate clauses....

When Stainless's English teacher told him "Santa's little helpers" was about subordinate clauses....      :wink:

Offline Milwaukee Midget

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3426 on: December 01, 2017, 12:19:31 PM »
Back in high school my English teacher told us "Santa's little helpers" was about subordinate clauses....

When Stainless's English teacher told him "Santa's little helpers" was about subordinate clauses....      :wink:

I decided to Czech that out -

"Když jej učitel angličtiny Stainless řekl, "Santa má malí pomocníci", bylo to o podřízených klauzích."
"Problems are almost always a sign of progress."  Harold Bettes
Well, I guess we're making a LOT of progress . . .  :roll:

We are NOT rebuilding . . . We are reloading.

GOD SAVE MG - The Queen can take care of herself!

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3427 on: December 01, 2017, 12:55:15 PM »
all of my trees have taken off work...They are on paid leaf............ :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3428 on: December 01, 2017, 01:01:04 PM »
and..Since I am so crappy at posting links...you fellows need to go to bangshift.com and check out the videos posted today of an engine failure on the dyno. There  is a reason my `liner`s engine will be behind me.
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Online manta22

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3429 on: December 01, 2017, 01:37:34 PM »
With the engine behind you, you will be the last to know that you're on fire. Ask me how I know.....

Regards, Neil  Tucson, AZ
Regards, Neil  Tucson, AZ

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3430 on: December 08, 2017, 08:09:11 AM »
how do bees part their hair???..With a honey comb............
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3431 on: December 08, 2017, 08:10:38 AM »
two bed bugs met in a mattress...They got married in the spring.................. :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Online Stainless1

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3432 on: December 08, 2017, 09:50:04 AM »
Why did the ant change its course to the cookie crumbs....

It didn't want to walk through the spot where the centipede  :cheers:
Stainless
Red Hat 228.039, 2001, 65ci, MSA Bockscar Lakester with a little N20 
MSA Bockscar Lakester #1000 my fastest mile 245 and change, 84 ci turbobusa motor... but Corey's 233 MPH H/BFL record is still 3MPH faster than mine.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3433 on: December 08, 2017, 09:55:36 AM »
And Bob rushes to the lead  leaving me bee hind...........gotta get to the cooking class I teach, Don`t want to keep my stewed ants waiting... :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Dynoroom

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3434 on: December 08, 2017, 11:48:54 AM »
you guy's are starting to bug me...
Michael LeFevers
Kugel and LeFevers Pontiac Firebird

Without Data You're Just Another Guy With An Opinion!

Racing is just a series of "Problem Solving" events that allow you to spend money & make noise...