(Note: LANDRACING.COM donations are not tax deductible)


This is a public forum. The opinions expressed here don't
necessarily reflect the feelings of The Folks That Run The Site (that's us)
unless we explicitly say so, ok?


Author Topic: Stupid joke Friday  (Read 965653 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Online Speed Limit 1000

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1113
  • Age: 69
  • Location: Denver, Colorado
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3390 on: October 06, 2017, 04:20:05 PM »
Stainless and Slim, two friends, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems.
One day Slim didn't show up. Stainless didn't think much about it and figured maybe he had a cold or something.. But after Slim hadn't shown up for a week or so, Stainless really got worried. However, since the only time they ever got together was at the park, Stainless didn't know where Slim lived, so he was unable to find out what had happened to him.
A month had passed, and Stainless figured he had seen the last of Slim, but one day, Stainless approached the park and -- lo and behold -- there sat Slim!
Stainless was very excited and happy to see him and told him so. Then he said,'For crying out loud Slim, what in the world happened to you?'
Slim replied, 'I have been in jail.'
'Jail!' cried Stainless. What in the world for?'
'Well,' Slim said, 'you know Sue, that cute little blonde waitress at the coffee shop where I sometimes go?'
'Yeah,' said Stainless, 'I remember her. What about her?
'Well, one day she filed rape charges against me; and, at 89 years old, I was so proud that when I got into court, I plead
'guilty'.
'The Dodge judge gave me 30 days for perjury’.
John Gowetski, red hat @ 221.183 MPH MSA Lakester, Bockscar #1000 60 ci normally aspirated w/N20

Offline will6er

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 145
  • Location: Lakewood, CO
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3391 on: October 06, 2017, 07:53:48 PM »
Sign next to a urinal - "We aim to please. You aim too , please"

Offline floydjer

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2878
  • Age: 62
  • Location: grand rapids, michigan
  • "There is no duck side of the moon..."
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3392 on: October 13, 2017, 08:18:53 AM »
what has a head, a tail ,But no legs???  A coin... :roll:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2878
  • Age: 62
  • Location: grand rapids, michigan
  • "There is no duck side of the moon..."
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3393 on: October 13, 2017, 08:20:20 AM »
I have an Asian friend who is a stock broker...His name is " Cha Ching"......Ooops..crossed the line again didn`t I ? :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2878
  • Age: 62
  • Location: grand rapids, michigan
  • "There is no duck side of the moon..."
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3394 on: October 20, 2017, 08:28:44 AM »
What would you name a camel with no hump???...Humphrey..
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Milwaukee Midget

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 6477
  • Age: 59
  • Location: Beerhaven, Wisconsin
  • After further investigation, I/GT record holder
    • Milwaukee Midget Racing
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3395 on: October 20, 2017, 11:30:35 AM »
What would you name a camel with no hump???...Humphrey..

So should I stick my nose under the tent?
"Problems are almost always a sign of progress."  Harold Bettes
Well, I guess we're making a LOT of progress . . .  :roll:

We are NOT rebuilding . . . We are reloading.

GOD SAVE MG - The Queen can take care of herself!

Offline Dynoroom

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2103
  • Age: 62
  • Location: Chino Hills, Ca.
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3396 on: October 20, 2017, 12:05:46 PM »
As we've moved on to animals...

what breed of dog can do magic tricks?

Labracadabrador.
Michael LeFevers
Kugel and LeFevers Pontiac Firebird

Without Data You're Just Another Guy With An Opinion!

Racing is just a series of "Problem Solving" events that allow you to spend money & make noise...

Offline floydjer

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2878
  • Age: 62
  • Location: grand rapids, michigan
  • "There is no duck side of the moon..."
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3397 on: October 20, 2017, 12:55:36 PM »
Of course the dog has an owl for a side-kick...It`s named Hoo-dini.................. :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Milwaukee Midget

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 6477
  • Age: 59
  • Location: Beerhaven, Wisconsin
  • After further investigation, I/GT record holder
    • Milwaukee Midget Racing
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3398 on: October 20, 2017, 07:45:54 PM »
Theater students at Texas A&M once put on a production of Lawrence of Arabia in the camel milking parlor of the Ag Sciences lab in College Station.

The facility is now known as the "Drama-Dairy".   
"Problems are almost always a sign of progress."  Harold Bettes
Well, I guess we're making a LOT of progress . . .  :roll:

We are NOT rebuilding . . . We are reloading.

GOD SAVE MG - The Queen can take care of herself!

Offline WOODY@DDLLC

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1391
  • Age: 74
  • Location: Morrow, OH 15 minutes from Mike Brown!
  • ECTA made it to AR-Kansas!
    • Design Dreams, LLC
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3399 on: October 21, 2017, 09:51:16 AM »
Too bad this thread is no good for Wednesday aka Hump day!   :-D :dhorse:
All models are wrong, but some are useful! G.E. Box (1967) www.designdreams.biz

Offline floydjer

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2878
  • Age: 62
  • Location: grand rapids, michigan
  • "There is no duck side of the moon..."
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3400 on: October 27, 2017, 07:45:34 AM »
I saw a dentist get into a fight w/ a manicurist.....It was  tooth and nail...............
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2878
  • Age: 62
  • Location: grand rapids, michigan
  • "There is no duck side of the moon..."
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3401 on: October 27, 2017, 07:46:58 AM »
Some stole a crate of Viagra from the local Fed Ex....Cops are looking for hardened criminals..............
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Milwaukee Midget

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 6477
  • Age: 59
  • Location: Beerhaven, Wisconsin
  • After further investigation, I/GT record holder
    • Milwaukee Midget Racing
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3402 on: October 27, 2017, 08:25:37 AM »
Some stole a crate of Viagra from the local Fed Ex....Cops are looking for hardened criminals..............

Update - police have erected a booby trap . . .
"Problems are almost always a sign of progress."  Harold Bettes
Well, I guess we're making a LOT of progress . . .  :roll:

We are NOT rebuilding . . . We are reloading.

GOD SAVE MG - The Queen can take care of herself!

Offline floydjer

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2878
  • Age: 62
  • Location: grand rapids, michigan
  • "There is no duck side of the moon..."
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3403 on: October 27, 2017, 08:35:55 AM »
Yeah, The Man is always puttin` it to the working stiff.................
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2878
  • Age: 62
  • Location: grand rapids, michigan
  • "There is no duck side of the moon..."
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3404 on: November 03, 2017, 11:59:49 AM »
What do you call a woman that gambles??....Betty... :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.