Stupid joke Friday

[floydjer]

Being the awesome spouse that I am...I even know Patti`s favorite flower....Pillsbury self rising...................

[Seldom Seen Slim]

I knew it!  I knew that someday this topic would blossom!

[Milwaukee Midget]

I knew it!  I knew that someday this topic would blossom!

Time to deadhead it, before it goes to seed . . .

[floydjer]

Deadhead??  You speak german..mate??

[Stan Back]

The root of it is that it stems from bad speling and grammer.

[floydjer]

SB has blossomed into quite the comedian today (went out on a limb for that one)

[floydjer]

I meant to give the bride flowers yesterday...But then I remembered I hadn`t botany...........

[floydjer]

Know what pigs and ink have in common? They both get put in pens...........

[floydjer]

And I never said I went to Penn. State...I said I was in the State Pen.................

[Milwaukee Midget]

And I never said I went to Penn. State...I said I was in the State Pen.................

So's the coaching staff . . .

[Seldom Seen Slim]

Which brings to mind the title of a book written about the baseball teams of the Marquette Branch (state) Prison here in the old days.  Coach Brumm's book was titled "We Only Played Home Games".

https://www.amazon.com/Only-Played-Home-Games-Michigans/dp/0971805008

[Milwaukee Midget]

Which brings to mind the title of a book written about the baseball teams of the Marquette Branch (state) Prison here in the old days.  Coach Brumm's book was titled "We Only Played Home Games".

https://www.amazon.com/Only-Played-Home-Games-Michigans/dp/0971805008

Wow, and all this time, I thought the inmates we're playing in Ann Arbor . . .

PS - Go Hawkeyes . . .

[WOODY@DDLLC]

A SIGN IN A SHOE REPAIR STORE IN VANCOUVER READS:
We will heel you
We will save your sole
We will even dye for you.

 A SIGN ON A BLINDS AND CURTAIN TRUCK:
“Blind man driving.”
 
Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:   
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix.”
 
In a Podiatrist's office:   
"Time wounds all heels.”
 
On a Septic Tank Truck:
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels
 
At an Optometrist's Office:
"If you don't see what you're looking for,
You've come to the right place.”
 
On a Plumber's truck:
"We repair what your husband fixed.”
 
On another Plumber's truck:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.”
 
At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:
"Invite us to your next blowout.”
 
On an Electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts.”
 
In a Non-smoking Area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and will take appropriate action.”
 
On a Maternity Room door:
"Push. Push. Push.”
 
At a Car Dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.”
 
Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.”
 
In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”
 
At the Electric Company:
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment on time. However, if you don't, YOU will be de-lighted.”
 
In a Restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.”
 
In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait.”
 
At a Propane Filling Station:
"Thank Heaven for little grills.”
 
In a Chicago Radiator Shop:
"Best place in town to take a leak.”
 
And the best one for last…;
Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:
"Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises"

[Seldom Seen Slim]

Old people shut up and let the youngsters wonder where you'd find this saying:

"Here I sit, Broken Hearted.
Paid a Nickle, Only Farted."

[manta22]

Sign on the door of the Cremation Society:

"Think Outside The Box"

Regards, Neil  Tucson, AZ