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Author Topic: Stupid joke Friday  (Read 878576 times)

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Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3345 on: September 01, 2017, 07:51:26 AM »
Easiest way to identify a dogwood is by the bark............... :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Stainless1

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3346 on: September 01, 2017, 08:40:07 AM »
Do you ever look at an acorn and wonder.... what's up with that?
In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.  :cheers:
Stainless
Red Hat 228.039, 2001, 65ci, MSA Bockscar Lakester with a little N20 
MSA Bockscar Lakester #1000 my fastest mile 245 and change, 84 ci turbobusa motor... but Corey's 233 MPH H/BFL record is still 3MPH faster than mine.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3347 on: September 01, 2017, 09:07:32 AM »
We`re rooting for you Bob....................
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Stainless1

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3348 on: September 01, 2017, 09:11:12 AM »
I'm trying to branch out.... seems to be bearing fruit....
 :cheers:
Stainless
Red Hat 228.039, 2001, 65ci, MSA Bockscar Lakester with a little N20 
MSA Bockscar Lakester #1000 my fastest mile 245 and change, 84 ci turbobusa motor... but Corey's 233 MPH H/BFL record is still 3MPH faster than mine.

Offline Ron Gibson

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3349 on: September 01, 2017, 09:20:28 AM »
I'm going out on a different limb with this one.

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment:
Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at
the end of it.

The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began
to tell their stories.

There were all the regular types of stuff: Spilled milk and
pennies saved.  But then the teacher realized, that only
Janie was left.

"Janie, do you have a story to share?"

'Yes ma'am.  My daddy told me a story about my Mommy.
She was a Marine pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got
hit.  She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she
had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife.

She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle
wouldn't break, and then she parachuted right into the
middle of 20 Iraqi troops.  She shot 15 of them with the
pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with
the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last
Iraqi with her bare hands."

''Good Heavens, 'said the horrified teacher.  What did your
Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story'?"

"Don't F*** with Mommy when she's been drinking." 

Ron

Life is an abrasive. Whether you get ground away or polished to a shine depends on what you are made of.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3350 on: September 01, 2017, 09:45:25 AM »
Hmmmm..That`s how you want to play eh ???...I went to the doctor for a check up and he said" I`m not sure what this problem is...It might be due to all of the alcohol"...So I told him I`d come back when he was sober.............................. :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3351 on: September 08, 2017, 09:07:34 AM »
I decided to try my hand at laundry...Not being well versed in washing machines, I asked Patti which setting to use..She asked what it said on the shirts...." Land Racing.Com" I replied....
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Online Seldom Seen Slim

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3352 on: September 08, 2017, 09:42:07 AM »
Good one, Jerry.  Thanks. :roll:
Jon E. Wennerberg
 a/k/a Seldom Seen Slim
 Skandia, Michigan
 (that's way up north)
2 Club member x2
Owner of landracing.com

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3353 on: September 08, 2017, 10:44:32 AM »
a true friend is a guy you can call at 3 a.m. and ask him to come over  with a shovel...And he shows up........... :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Stainless1

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3354 on: September 08, 2017, 10:23:03 PM »
Hey Jerry, I asked Linda to do the laundry this week since I have been busy helping John Goodman get ready to race.....
she said OK but not without some agitation....  :cheers:
Stainless
Red Hat 228.039, 2001, 65ci, MSA Bockscar Lakester with a little N20 
MSA Bockscar Lakester #1000 my fastest mile 245 and change, 84 ci turbobusa motor... but Corey's 233 MPH H/BFL record is still 3MPH faster than mine.

Offline Andyman

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3355 on: September 08, 2017, 10:42:40 PM »
Ron, that is one of my all time favorite jokes.  It has changed over the years, I've hear both Korean and Viet Nam era versions.

Andy

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3356 on: September 15, 2017, 08:38:40 AM »
Know why rhino`s have so many wrinkles??? Because they are hard to iron.............
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Milwaukee Midget

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3357 on: September 15, 2017, 09:59:48 AM »
I thought that was a symptom of rhino virus.
"Problems are almost always a sign of progress."  Harold Bettes
Well, I guess we're making a LOT of progress . . .  :roll:

We are NOT rebuilding . . . We are reloading.

GOD SAVE MG - The Queen can take care of herself!

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3358 on: September 15, 2017, 10:44:21 AM »
typical of MM to horn in on my joke thread..........................
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Ron Gibson

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3359 on: September 15, 2017, 11:29:03 AM »
Ya, but only with  one.

Ron
Life is an abrasive. Whether you get ground away or polished to a shine depends on what you are made of.