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Author Topic: Stupid joke Friday  (Read 965731 times)

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Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3315 on: July 14, 2017, 11:51:51 AM »
Omelette??  if she`d rather have them Benedict??...I`ll trader.......................( under hand whiffle ball to the comma cop ) :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline manta22

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3316 on: July 14, 2017, 02:36:08 PM »
Eggs Benedict Arnold.... they turn on you.

Regards, Neil  Tucson, AZ
Regards, Neil  Tucson, AZ

Offline bbarn

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3317 on: July 21, 2017, 06:54:49 AM »
Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it.
I almost never wake up cranky, I usually just let her sleep in.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3318 on: July 21, 2017, 08:10:42 AM »
Yesterday`s high was 78 and the low was 45...Neither were records............
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3319 on: July 21, 2017, 08:11:39 AM »
The Sun is out and nobody bothered to relight it..........................
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Stainless1

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3320 on: July 21, 2017, 08:56:17 AM »
That may be because the grass is always greener on the unlit side  :roll:
Stainless
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MSA Bockscar Lakester #1000 my fastest mile 245 and change, 84 ci turbobusa motor... but Corey's 233 MPH H/BFL record is still 3MPH faster than mine.

Offline WOODY@DDLLC

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3321 on: July 21, 2017, 09:07:54 AM »
A fleeing terrorist, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghan desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the mirage, only to find a very frail little old Jewish man standing at a small makeshift display rack - selling ties. The Taliban terrorist asked, "Do you have water?

The Jewish man replied,  "I have no water.  Would you like to buy a tie? They are only $5."

The  Taliban shouted hysterically, "Idiot Infidel!  I do not need such an over-priced western adornment - I spit on your ties.  I need water!"

"Sorry, I have none - just ties - pure silk - and only $5."

"Pahh!  A curse on your ties,  I should wrap one around your scrawny little neck and choke the life out of you, but I must conserve my energy and find water!"

"Okay," said the little old Jewish man, "It does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie from me or that you hate me, threaten my life and call me infidel.  I will show you that I am bigger than any of that.  If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find a restaurant. It has the finest food and all the ice-cold water you need...Go In Peace!"

Cursing him again, the desperate Taliban staggered away over the hill.

Several hours later, he crawled back, almost dead and gasped, "They won't let me in without a tie!"
All models are wrong, but some are useful! G.E. Box (1967) www.designdreams.biz

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3322 on: July 21, 2017, 09:41:52 AM »
Mountain ranges  aren`t funny....They are hill areas.......................
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3323 on: July 21, 2017, 09:45:28 AM »
hey Woody....similar thing happened to me once...Went out for lunch with 2 Brits, a Scot. 3 south Africans, A jewish guy, 2 Peruvians and a Canadian....They wouldn`t let us in without a Thai................... :dhorse:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3324 on: July 28, 2017, 08:41:53 AM »
i tried to tell a few  sheep jokes  to a friend`s dog......He`d herd them all before............
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3325 on: July 28, 2017, 08:42:56 AM »
How does a farmer plow his field in circles????  with a pro-tractor.........................
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Stainless1

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3326 on: July 28, 2017, 08:55:32 AM »
How does a farmer plow his field in circles????  with a pro-tractor.........................

Around here we just use a compass....
Stainless
Red Hat 228.039, 2001, 65ci, MSA Bockscar Lakester with a little N20 
MSA Bockscar Lakester #1000 my fastest mile 245 and change, 84 ci turbobusa motor... but Corey's 233 MPH H/BFL record is still 3MPH faster than mine.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3327 on: July 28, 2017, 09:23:31 AM »
Aaaaaaaaaaaaand Bob goes off on a tangent....But I see your point................. :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Ron Gibson

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3328 on: July 28, 2017, 09:29:49 AM »
Sharp isn't he  :? :?

Ron
Life is an abrasive. Whether you get ground away or polished to a shine depends on what you are made of.

Offline WOODY@DDLLC

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3329 on: July 28, 2017, 09:32:48 AM »
I read that 60% of all social media conversations were pointless babble!  :-o :-o
Does that mean the other 40% is pointed babble?  :? :? :-D :-D
All models are wrong, but some are useful! G.E. Box (1967) www.designdreams.biz